The Right state: we do not like the Left’s poem, but find no specific faults worth mentioning. The Left state: we are not accustomed to the expression ‘gentle connection; the mountain’ (nasake no yama)
In judgement: Mount Tamasaka’s cuckoo and the Weaver Maid’s gentle mountain connection are of the same quality.
The Gentlemen of the Right state: the Left’s poem is most moving. The Right’s poem, the Gentlemen of the Left state, is fine.
Shunzei’s judgement: the Left’s poem has one counting to the end of the moon’s transits through the sky, while the Right has clouds parting from a mountain peak being the poet’s thoughts given form. Both poems are elegant in configuration and diction, but the Right’s ‘even the clouds’ (kumo ni dani) does not fit with the ending. The Left maintains its connections from beginning to end. Thus, I make it the winner.
The Gentlemen of the Right state: the use of the diction of ‘description’ (arisama) in the Left’s poem is inappropriate for the style of the poem. The Gentlemen of the Left state: the Right’s poem is no more than a pedestrian poem on homeward-bound geese.
Shunzei’s judgement: The Left certainly does sound most mundane and unpoetic. As for the Right, while it seems like an evocative poem addressed to the topic of homeward-bound geese, is it not difficult for geese, or people, to leave behind their cries? In addition, it is unclear what sort of thoughts it is that occupy the poet. Both poems’ style lacks clarity. Thus, they are comparable and the round must tie.
The Gentlemen of the Right state: the Left’s poem has no defects worth criticising. The Gentlemen of the Left state: the initial and final sections of the Right’s poem lack connection with each other. Does the poem have a conception of hiddenness?
Shunzei’s judgement: The conception and configuration of the Left’s ‘cloud-capped peaks’ first shower of rain’ (kumoiru mine no hatsu shigure) seems charming [kokoro sugata okashiku mie]. On that basis, it should win.
The Gentlemen of the Right state: we find no faults in the Left’s poem. The Gentlemen of the Left state: the Buddhas’ names are recited at other times than the Ceremony of Reciting the Buddhas’ Names. In response: recitation of the names at around the twentieth day of the Twelfth Month is the Buddhas’ Names ceremony.
Shunzei’s judgement: that the Left’s poem has no faults, the Right have already said. Is the courtiers giving their names and leaving with the dawn reminiscent of the Buddhas’ names ceremony? It seems to be drawing on that old song, ‘when the dawntime moon brings brightness, announcing his name on leaving, is the cuckoo!’ The faultless poem wins.
A travel poem, included in a hundred poem sequence sent to be read by the Monk En’i.
岩根ふみ峰の椎柴折りしきて雲に宿かるゆふぐれの空
iFane Fumi
mine no siFisiba
worisikite
kumo ni yadokaru
yuFugure no sora
Treading ‘cross the deep-rooted crags
From brushwood on the peak
I break branches and spread them
Making my lodging beneath the clouds
Gazing at the evening skies…
Neither team finds any fault with the other’s poem.
Shunzei’s judgement: This round the poems of Left and Right both describe memorable scenes. The Left’s ‘pines to green are blown back’ (matsu o midori ni fukikaeshi) and the Right’s ‘pines of Onoue, blown free from the snows by the wind from off the bay’ (onoue no matsu no yuki no urakaze) are equivalently excellent in conception and diction [kokoro kotoba shōretsu naku miehaberi]. This must be a tie of quality [yoki ji].
Shunzei’s judgement: The Left’s poem has ‘deep snow’ (yuki fukaki), ‘whitening round my cedar door’ (maki no to shiramu), and the Right has ‘the dawntime moon will linger less than’ (ariake no tsuki yori nokoru) – the conception and diction of both are splendid [kokoro kotoba tomo ni yoroshiku koso haberumere]. It seems to me that is exactly how winter mornings are. Thus, it is difficult to say which is better. This must be a good tie [yoki ji].
Shunzei’s judgement: ‘Peak, crowding clouds go scudding by’ (mine no murakumo fukimayoi) sounds fine [yoroshiku kikoyuru], but preceding it with ‘About this mountain’ (kono yama no) is something I find myself particularly unable to accept, as I wonder to which mountain the poem refers. ‘Would it be like this? Sweeping on’ (kakaramashi ya wa uchiharau) connects well with what comes before and after it and sounds tasteful, more or less [nani to naku yū ni kikoehaberu]. The Right must win.
Both teams state they find no particular faults with the other’s poem this round.
Shunzei’s judgement: Both poems are on the topic of ‘falling leaves’, and both ‘The ever-falling leaves from the trees’ (himanaku furu wa ko no ha) and ‘Now the winds are done, fallen are’ (kaze yori furu wa), in conception and diction, are charming [kokoro kotoba tomo no okashiku kikoyu]. They must tie.