Left (Tie)
ゆきもあはぬちぎのかたそぎもる月をしもとやかみのおもひますらむ
| yuki mo awanu chigi no katasogi moru tsuki o shimo to ya kami no omoimasuramu | Fail to entwine do The chiliad of trees, while from the ridge poles Drips the moon— ‘Tis frost, perhaps, does the Deity Deign to wonder? |
Lord Taira no Tsunemasa
Supernumerary Director of the Bureau of Horses, Left Division
Governor of Awaji
Exalted Fifth Rank, Lower Grade[i]
27
Right
しろたへのゆきかとみればかぜさえて月ぞしづるるすみよしのまつ
| shirotae no yuki ka to mireba kaze saete tsuki zo shizururu sumiyoshi no matsu | White as mulberry cloth, I wonder, if ‘tis snow, I see— In the chill wind The moon slips from The pines of Sumiyoshi… |
Lord Minamoto no Nakatsuna
Governor of Oki
Junior Fifth Rank, Lower Grade[ii]
28
The configuration of the Left appears elegant, but the expression ‘chiliad of trees’ was said to be impermissible by Lord Mototoshi in his judgement on a poetry competition held in a certain place. The final section, too, seems to require a bit more thought [because it’s insulting to the deity]. As for the Right, the conception of wondering if the moon’s light shining through the trees is snow slipping off them is charming, but I do wonder about the sound of ‘the moon slips’ as a piece of diction. The initial ‘white as mulberry cloth’, too, sounds like it needs further thought [because this is not used to modify ‘snow’], so these should tie.
[i] Shōgoige-gyō sauma gon-kami ken awaji no kami Taira ason Tsunemasa正五位下行左馬権頭兼淡路守平朝臣経正
[ii] Jūgoige-gyō oki no kami Minamoto ason Nakatsuna 従五位下行隠岐守源朝臣仲綱
