Fulling cloth late at night (深夜擣衣)
Left
わぎもこがうつ唐衣さよふけてほのかにきこゆいづこなるらん
| wagimoko ga utsu karakoromo sayo fukete honoka ni kikoyu izuko naruran | My darling girl Is fulling my Cathay robe; As brief night breaks Faintly I hear The echoes from somewhere. |
Ki no Sukezane
29
Right
手もたゆく成りやゆくらんさ夜ふかみ衣しでうつ音ののどけさ
| ta mo tayuku nari ya yukuran sayo fukami koromo shideutsu oto no nodokesa | Is it that her hands so weary Have become? Late on a brief night Fulling clothing— How faint that sound… |
Taira no Sadamoto
30
Geese
Left (Win)
わがせこがたびのころもをうちはへてまつかりがねのいまもなかなむ
| wa ga seko ga tabi no koromo o uchihaete matsu kari ga ne no ima mo nakanamu | My darling man’s Journey garb I will spread out, for The long-awaited goose cries Are now sounding out. |
Korenari
9
Right
わぎもこがかけてまつらんたまづさとかきつらねたるはつかりのこゑ
| wagimoko ga kakete matsuran tamazusa to kakitsuranetaru hatsu kari no koe | My darling girl Does ever seem to wait! Jewelled missives Written with The first goose calls… |
10
Left (Win)
からあひの八入の衣色深くなどあながちにつらき心ぞ
| kara’ai no yashio no koromo iro fukaku nado anagachi ni tsuraki kokoro zo |
Deepest indigo Dipped many times, my robe’s Hue is dark, indeed; Why, with such heartless Cruelty am I treated… |
Lord Suetsune
1127
Right
衣衣にうつりし色はあだなれど心ぞ深き忍ぶもぢずり
| kinuginu ni utsurishi iro wa ada naredo kokoro zo fukaki shinobu mojizuri |
My robe’s Hues have shifted; Faithless is she, yet My heart’s depths Are stained with fern-patterned longing… |
Lord Takanobu
1128
The Right state: we wonder whether ‘deepest indigo dipped many times’ (kara’ai no yashio) should not be scarlet. How dark would the colour be then? In response: there is no possibility of interpreting this as scarlet. We have used deep indigo, so what is there to criticise in then using dark? The Left state: while we understand the conception of the poem, we feel the expression is somewhat lacking. ‘My heart’s depths are stained with secret longing’ (kokoro zo fukaki shinobu mojizuri) does not link well with the initial part of the poem.
In judgement: the Left’s initial ‘deepest indigo’ (kara’ai) certainly sounds elegant, and there is no reason to make it scarlet. I also see no reason to fault the use of dark, either. As for the Right, it does not sound as if ‘stained with fern-patterned longing’ (shinobu mojizuri) links with the remainder of the poem – from the beginning to ‘my heart’s depths’ (kokoro zo fukaki). The final ‘stained with fern-patterned longing’ seems to appear abruptly. Deepest indigo should win.
Left
うちとけて誰に衣を重ぬらんまろがまろ寝も夜深き物を
| uchitokete tare ni koromo o kasanuran maro ga marone mo yobukaki mono o |
Loosening them, With whom does he clothes Pile together? Sleeping all alone How deep this night is… |
A Servant Girl
1121
Right (Win)
思わび寝る夜の床の露しげみ身のしろ衣かす人もがな
| omoiwabi neru yo no toko no tsuyu shigemi mi no shirogoromo kasu hito mo gana |
In the grief of love, Sleeping at night, my bed Is soaked through with dew; To lend me an over-mantle Is there no one at all… |
Lord Tsune’ie
1122
The Right state: the final section of the Left’s poem is difficult to grasp. The Left state: the Right’s poem has no faults to mention.
In judgement: the Left’s ‘sleeping all alone how deep this night is…’ (maro ga marone mo yobukaki mono o) does not sound as if it links with the initial section of the poem. ‘Alone’ (maro) is also unacceptable. The Right’s ‘to lend me an over-mantle’ (mi no shirogoromo) sounds elegant. I make it the winner.