sanomi ya wa kokoro arubeki hototogisu nezame no sora ni hitogoe mogana
Not much of The heart can you know, O, cuckoo, but On waking from the sky I would hear a single call.
A Court Lady 33
Right
やはた山むかひの里の郭公しのびしかたの声もかはらず
yawatayama mukai no sato no hototogisu shinobishi kata no koe mo kawarazu
By Yawata Mountain, At the estate of Mukai, A cuckoo, Fondly remembers someone With a changeless song!
Lord Ietaka 34
The Left’s poem would seem to fail to reflect the essential meaning of the topic of cuckoos by having it not yet being heard, and thus its overall technique seems dreadful. The Right’s poem also lacks any superlative elements, they must tie.
sakura saku yoshino no yama no yamakaze ni fumoto o komete hana niourashi
Cherries bloom In the mountains of Yoshino, where The mountain breezes Make even the foothills Aglow with blossom.
Tomoshige 31
Right (Win)
花の色はあまりにけりなつくばねのこのもかのもにかかる白雲
hana no iro wa amarinikeri na tsukubane no kono mo kano mo ni kakaru shirakumo
The blossoms’ hues Have overflowed[1] The peak of Tsukuba— Near and far, both, Draped with clouds of white.[2]
Dharma Master Zenshin 32
The Left’s poem has no faults worth mentioning and, furthermore, is not particularly remarkable. The Right’s poem refers to the peak of Tsukuba; while this is generally thought of as a mountain, it is not necessarily limited to mountains and there are, I think, a bunch of instances where it means a place with lots of trees; however, because here it also conveys the conception of mountains, from the use of pleasant poetic technique, the Right should win.
[1] Zenshin is clearly referencing Ono no Komachi’s famous: Topic unknown. 花の色はうつりにけりないたづらにわが身世にふるながめせしまに hana no iro wa / utsurinikeri na / itazura ni / wa ga mi yo ni furu / nagame seshi ma ni ‘The blossoms’ hues / Have already faded away, / While in idle thoughts / My life goes by, / As I watch the long rains fall.’ (KKS II: 113).
[2] An allusive variation on: Eastern poem: a poem from Hitachi. 筑波嶺のこのもかのもに影はあれど君がみかげにます陰はなし tsukuba ne no / kono mo kano mo ni / kage aredo / kimi ga mikage ni / masu kage wa nashi ‘On the peak of Tsukuba / Here and there / Lie shadows, yet / To your shadow, my love (my Lord) / They cannot compare!’ Anonymous (KKS XX: 1095).
yama takami midarete niou hanazakura hito mo susamenu haru ya henuran
In these mountain heights The riotous glow of Blooming cherries: Is there no one to sing their praises As spring passes by?[1]
Chikanari 29
Right
行末の山のかひより昨日みし雲もさながら桜なりけり
yukusue no yama no kai yori kinō mishi kumo mo sanagara sakura narikeri
On my way Through mountain passes Yesterday I saw Clouds of white—all were Cherries![2]
Ie’kiyo 30
The Right’s poem, having ‘mountain passes yesterday I saw’ sounds like it conveys the conception of Tsurayuki’s poem well, but isn’t it a bit pointless to end up with something that sounds like a Travel poem? The Left’s poem has the fine conception of the old poem which goes ‘In these mountain heights / There is no one to sing the praises of / You cherry blossoms’, so thus it must win.
[1] An allusive variation on: Topic unknown. 山たかみ人もすさめぬさくら花いたくなわびそ我みはやさむ yama takami / hito mo susamenu / sakurabana / itaku na wabi so / ware mihayasamu ‘In these mountain heights / There is no one to sing the praises of / You cherry blossoms. / Do not be aggrieved / For I will do it.’ Anonymous (KKS I: 50).
[2] An allusive variation on: When he was instructed by His Majesty to compose a poem, he composed this and presented it. 桜花さきにけらしもあしひきの山の峡よりみゆる白雲 sakurabana / sakinikerashi mo / ashihiki no / yama no kai yori / miyuru shirakumo ‘The cherry blossom / Seems to have bloomed, and from / The leg-wearying / Mountain passes / Appears white billowing clouds.’ Tsurayuki (KKS I: 59)
chiri chirazu hana yori hoka no iro zo naki kasanaru yama no mine no harukaze
Scattered, or not, Other than the blossoms’ Hues are there none Layered upon the mountain Peaks by the breeze in springtime.[1]
Shō 27
Right
かづらきやたかまの山はうづもれて空に棚引く春のしら雲
kazuragi ya takama no yama wa uzumorete sora ni tanabiku haru no shirakumo
In Kazuragi Takama Mountain Is buried by Trailing across the skies Clouds of white in springtime.
Nagatsuna 28
The Left’s poem appears fine. The Right’s poem, having ‘Takama Mountain is buried’ is both pretentious and does not link to anything. The Left must win.
[1] An allusive variation on: On a folding screen for the Kamo Virgin, for the place showing people going along a mountain path. ちりちらずきかまほしきをふるさとの花見て帰る人もあはなん chiri chirazu / kikamahoshiki o / furusato no / hana mitekaeru / hito mo awanan ‘Are they scattered, or not, is / What I would ask, but / The ancient estate’s / Blossom having seen and returned— / Those folk I would have you meet.’ Ise (SIS I: 49)
sakurabana sora ni amagiru shirakumo no tanabikiwataru kazuragi no yama
The cherry blossoms, As sky-sweeping Clouds of white Drape all across Kazuragi Mountain.
Takasuke 25
Right
さくらさくながらの山のながき日も昔をこひぬ時のまぞなき
sakura saku nagara no yama no nagaki hi mo mukashi o koinu toki no ma zo naki
The cherries bloom Changeless on Nagara Mountain; The lengthy days to Those beloved bygone Moments do not compare.
Shimotsuke 26
Neither Left nor Right has any faults worth mentioning. The Right’s poem appears tranquil, with an artless quality. It has a moving sensibility of longing for the past, but the Left’s poem should just about win, I think.
utsuriyuku hana no shita michi ato mo nashi nagame mo shiroki haru no yamakaze
The shifting Blossom on the paths beneath Leaves no footprints there; My gaze with whiteness filled By spring’s breezes in the mountains.
Dōchin 23
Right (Win)
身にかへておもふもくるし桜花さかぬみ山に宿もとめてん
mi ni kaete omou mo kurushi sakurabana sakanu miyama ni yado mo tometen
It should be me instead, I think, but even that brings pain; Where cherry blossoms Fail to bloom, deep within the mountains Should I make my home.
Dharma Master Nyokan 24
The Left’s poem does not sound poor, but has ‘gaze with whiteness’—a long time ago, Lay Priest Toshinari repeatedly said that it is not appropriate to compose about looking at something specific using ‘gaze’. The initial and concluding section of the Right’s poem sound fine—it should win.
shirakumo no asa tatsu yama no karanishiki eda ni hito mura harukaze zo fuku
Clouds of white Arising with the morning on the mountain: Cathay brocade In a single bunch upon the branch Blown by the breeze of spring! [1]
Supernumerary Major Counsellor Moto’ie 21
Right (Win)
かづらきや嶺の桜のさきしより心の空にかかるしら雲
kazuragi ya mine no sakura no sakishi yori kokoro no sora ni kakaru shirakumo
Upon Kazuragi Peak, the cherries Have bloomed and ever since The heavens of my heart are Draped with clouds of white.
Lord Nobunari 22
The Left’s poem has ‘Arising with the morning on the mountain: Cathay brocade in a single bunch upon the branch’ and, while it mentions spring breezes in its final section and does not fail to reflect the surface appearance of its source poem, conveys a feeling of scarlet leaves without mentioning blossom or cherry, which I have to say is something of a fault. The Right’s poem does not seem poor and lacks any faults worth mentioning, so it should win.
hitogokoro utsurihatenuru hana no iro ni mukashi nagara no yama no na mo oshi
As a human heart All faded are The blossoms’ hues upon Ever unchanged Nagara Mountain—even its name brings regret.[1]
A Court Lady 17
Right
なぞもかく思ひそめけむ桜花やまとしたかく成りはつるまで
nazo mo kaku omoisomekemu sakurabana yama toshi takaku narihatsuru made
Why is it that I seem so Absorbed in thought of Cherry blossom that The mountain higher Has grown? [2]
Lord Ietaka 18
The Right’s poem mentioning ‘Grief as hard as felling trees upon a mountain higher’ has charming diction. As for the Left’s poem, while I have heard it strongly stated that using a ‘human heart’ is not diction that should be composed with these days, as this is not a poem for public circulation, for the moment I make this a tie.
asa madaki tatsu ya kasumi no namima yori kinō mieshi awajishima yama
Early in the morning, Breaking, haze From between the waves, rather than Yesterday’s sight of The mountains of Awaji Isle…
Fujiwara no Tomoshige 15
Right
さえ残る雪げの春の朝霞かすむ名のみや空に立つらん
saenokoru yukige no haru no asagasumi kasumu na nomi sora ni tatsuran
Do chilly remnants of Snowmelt in spring Make morning haze’s Blur in name alone Drift into the skies?
Dharma Master Zenshin 16
The Left’s ‘Yesterday’s sight of the mountains of Awaji Isle’ sounds pleasant. The Right’s ‘Blur in name alone drift into the skies’ does not sound bad, but thinking of the conception of the topic, haze in name only is a bit inferior, isn’t it? Thus, the Left wins.
