Tag Archives: Jakuren

Spring III: 5

Left (Win).

秋ならば月待つことの憂からまし櫻にくらす春の山里

aki naraba
tsuki matsu koto no
ukaramashi
sakura ni kurasu
haru no yamazato
Were it autumn,
Waiting for the moon is
Bitter, indeed, but
Amongst the cherry blossom do I live,
In my mountain hut in springtime.

A Servant Girl.

129

Right.

白雲の八重立つ山の花を見て歸る家路も日ははるか也

shirakumo no
yae tatsu yama no
hana o mite
kaeru ieji mo
hi wa harukanari
Clouds of white,
Lie eight-fold upon the mountains;
Gazing on the blossoms, being
Homeward bound at
Sundown seems a long, long way away…

Jakuren.

130

The Right team have no particular criticisms of the Left’s poem this round. The Left, though, say ‘What are we to make of ‘Sundown seems a long, long way away’ (hi wa harukanari)?’ (Probably suggesting it’s an insufficiently poetic expression to use in a waka.)

Shunzei doesn’t address the Left’s criticism in his judgement, simply saying, ‘The Left’s final section starting “amongst the cherry blossom do I live” (sakura ni kurasu) sounds charming. It must win.’

Spring II: 30

Left (Tie).

さやかなる秋にもまされあはれかな月影かすむ有明の空

sayakanaru
aki no mo masare
aware kana
tsuki kage kasumu
ariake no sora
The clarity of
Autumn, too, is splendid and
Moving, indeed, I feel in
The hazy moonlight from
The daybreak sky.

Lord Ari’ie.

119

Right (Tie).

今はとてたのむの雁もうちわびぬ朧月夜の明ぼのゝ空

ima wa tote
tanomu no kari mo
uchiwabinu
oborozukiyo no
akebono no sora
‘Now we must return,’
The field resting geese
Lament, under the
Misty moonlit
Dawning sky.

Jakuren.

120

The Right team once again rate the Left’s poem as ‘satisfying’, while the Left say the Right’s is ‘especially satisfying. ’

Shunzei’s judgement is that ‘the Left’s “hazy moonlight from the daybreak sky” (tsuki kage kasumu ariake no sora) and the Right’s “Misty moonlit dawning sky” (oborozukiyo no akebono no sora) are both splendid. It is difficult, indeed, to decide between them. Another excellent tie.’

Spring II: 22

Left (Win).

春來れば空に亂るゝいとゆふを一筋にやはありと頼まん

haru kureba
sora ni midaruru
itoyū wo
hito suji ni ya wa
ari to tanoman
When Spring is come,
The sky is disarrayed by
Heat haze, yet
For it to be all that is –
In that I cannot trust!

Lord Ari’ie.

103

Right.

春風のゝどかに吹けば青柳の枝もひとつに遊ぶ糸遊

haru kaze no
nodoka ni fukeba
aoyanagi no
eda mo hitotsu ni
asobu itoyū
When spring breezes
Gently blow
Fresh willow
Fronds as one are
Wavering hazes…

Jakuren.

104

Both teams find no particular faults with the other’s poems.

Shunzei, however, comments, ‘Both poems are excellent in appearance, but the Left has ‘The sky is disarrayed’ (sora ni midaruru). The Right is ‘Fresh willow fronds as one’ (aoyanagi no eda mo hitotsu ni asobu): does this not suggest that haze wavers only in the vicinity of willows? The Left must win.’

Spring II: 18

Left.

春日には空にのみこそあがるめれ雲雀の床は荒れやしぬらん

haru hi ni wa
sora ni nomi koso
agarumere
hibari no toko wa
are ya shinuran
The springtime sun
Alone, into the skies
Does seem to lift
The skylark: his nest,
I wonder, if ‘tis in disarray?

Kenshō.

95

Right (Win).

子を思ふすだちの小野を朝行ばあがりもやらず雲雀鳴也

ko o omou
sudachi no ono o
asa yukeba
agari mo yarazu
hibari nakunari
Caring for her chick,
Starting from the nest into the meadow,
With the coming of the morn,
Without taking flight,
The skylark gives call.

Jakuren.

96

The Right team state that the initial and central stanzas of the Left’s poem are ‘grating on the ear’, while the Left snap back that they ‘don’t understand the meaning’ of ‘caring for her chick, starting from the nest’ (ko o omou sudachi), and moreover, having both ‘starting from the nest’ (sudachi) and ‘take flight’ (agari) in one poem is clumsy technique as the meanings are too similar.

Shunzei judges that the initial stanza of the Left’s poem is ‘truly awful’. And, ‘in general, from what we know of how skylarks live, there is no reason to expect that they would heedlessly fly off after fouling their nests. In spring, they raise their young in the fields, and when the evenings are warm, or the spring sun is bright, they remain flying in the sky and look down on their chicks from above. They are birds which swoop and soar. Thus, one cannot say that they heedlessly foul their nests. The Right is in keeping with the skylark’s nature, and in form the poem also appropriately poetic, but because of the distance of the first stanza from the last, it is possible that one might not grasp the sense of the poem on first hearing. “Starting from the nest” (sudachi) and “take flight” (agari) are, though, too similar. However, as the Left’s poem has an unpleasant line, and is contrary to the essence of skylarks, despite its faults, the Right’s poem must win.’

Spring II: 12

Left.

妻戀のやたけの雉心せよ通ふ裾野も人あさる也

tsuma koi no
yatake no kigisu
kokoro seyo
kayou susono mo
hito asarunari
Longing for your hen,
O, peak-dwelling Pheasant,
Take care!
For in the meadows on the mountains’ skirts
Folk are seeking you!

Kenshō

83

Right (Win).

狩人の入野の雉妻戀て鳴ねばかりに身をやかへてん

karibito no
iruno no kigisu
tsuma koite
nakune bakari ni
mi o ya kaeten
Hunters
Enter the meadows and, a pheasant,
Longing for his hen,
A single call
Exchanges for his life.

Jakuren

84

The Right state that the expression ‘peak-dwelling pheasant’ (yatake no kigisu) is ‘not one we’re familiar with’ [kikinarawazu], and question the use of ‘Folk are seeking’ (hito asaru) in the Left’s poem. (The standard expression would have been kigisu asaru (‘seeking pheasants’), and they are probably indicating some resistance to the Left’s unusual phrasing.) The Left, on the other hand, simply say that the Right’s poem ‘is satisfying’ [kanshin ari].

Shunzei’s judgement: The Right’s poem says ‘a single call’ (nakune bakari ni) will cost a the pheasant his life, but is a call really enough? When hunters enter a field, they have dogs to sniff out the pheasant’s scent, so he’d be caught whether he called or not. However, in the Left’s poem, ‘peak-dwelling’ (yatake) is pretentious [kotogotoshiku], and ‘folk are seeking’ (hito asaru) sounds dreadful [ito osoroshiku kikoyu]. Thus, in any case, the Right’s poem must win.

Spring II: 1

Left (Tie).

若菜摘む野邊をし見れば竹取の翁もむべぞたはれあひける

wakana tsumu
nobe o shimireba
takatori no
okina mo mube zo
taware aikeru
Fresh greens are picked from
The field I gaze upon;
The Bamboo Cutting
Ancient, too, perhaps
Once gambolled there!

Kenshō

61

Right (Tie).

若菜摘み子の日に出づる友なくは家路思はぬ旅寢せましや

wakana tsumi
ne no hi ni izuru
tomo naku wa
ieji omowanu
tabine semashi ya
Plucking fresh greens:
If, on the Rat’s Day, travelling
Comrades had I none,
Unthinking of the homeward path,
Might I sleep the night away?

Jakuren

62

The Right team state that ‘Bamboo Cutter’ (takatori), in the Left’s poem, is usually pronounced taketori, and wonder if the Left can cite an earlier poem as proof that this reading is possible. In reply, the Left say that both takatori and taketori can be found in the Man’yōshū, and in the Hundred Poem Sequence Composed for Former Emperor Horikawa, Minamoto no Morotoki had used this reading.

The Left then wonder whether ‘unthinking of the homeward path, sleeping away’, in the Right’s poem is something which would only be done on an excursion to the fields. The Right reply that the poem was most likely composed when recalling an excursion to pick fresh greens on the Day of the Rat, and thinking of the fields.

In his judgement, Shunzei states first of all that there is no doubt that both taka and take are possible readings for the Old Bamboo Cutter. As poetic evidence that takatori is a possible reading for the Old Man in this case, in the Man’yōshū, just in a headnote, it says, ‘In ancient times, there was an old man. His name was Bamboo Cutting Ancient (takatori no okina). In the Third Month, this old man climbed a hill to gaze into the distance, whereupon he suddenly came upon nine maidens brewing fresh greens. Their beauty was beyond description, with faces fairer by far than flowers. The maidens called mockingly to the old man, “Come here, old fellow! Blow on our fire!” “Oho!” said the Old Man, and slowly made his way up to them, arriving close by in due course. After a while, the Maidens said to one another, laughing, “Who called this old man here?” The Bamboo Cutting Ancient replied quickly, “Unintentionally have I encountered divinity. In my confused heart, I had no ill intent. Let me pay for the sin of approaching too closely with a poem.” This is the poem he promptly composed.’ (MYS XVI: 3791).

After this lengthy quotation, Shunzei goes on to say that it is ‘not unreasonable’ to refer to this in a poem on the topic of ‘Field Pleasures’. However, the Left have already mentioned that both readings are given in the Man’yōshū. After this anthology was converted to modern language by Minamoto no Shitagō, kana readings were attached to the Chinese characters. However, it is now impossible to refer to this text, and it is unclear who assigned the readings take and taka. Lord Morotoki’s reasoning agrees with this. Furthermore, in the poem by the old man to the nine maidens, the character ‘bamboo’ (take) does not appear – it is only in the head-note – and so this reading may not have been given by Shitagō.

In general, on the point that both readings are possible, take would be more usual – taka is written with the character for ‘bamboo grove’, and this accords too with Chinese rhyming patterns. It is also used for the name of the poet, Ono no Takamura. Thus, normally, take could be said to be correct. Regardless of which reading is used, however, besides the fact that there is nothing exceptional in this poem’s construction, it is undesirable to include the expression ‘Ancient, too, perhaps’ (okina mo mube zo) in a poem. Although the Right’s poem appears more commonplace, it is impossible to decide on a victor between the two, and so a tie is awarded.

Spring I: 26

Left.

心ある射手の舎人のけしきかな玉敷く庭に鞆音ひゞきて

kokoro aru
ite no toneri no
keshiki kana
tama shiku niwa ni
tomone hibikite
Souls stirred,
The archers, guardsmen all,
Are a sight
Within the gem-strewn gardens,
As bowstring snaps to bracer!

Lord Ari’ie.

51

Right (Win).

梓弓引く手ばかりはよそなれど心にいるは雲の上人

azusayumi
hiku te bakari wa
yoso naredo
kokoro ni iru wa
kumo no uebito
A catalpa bow:
Drawn simply by the hand,
Distant, it is, yet
Letting fly, within their hearts, are
The folk above the clouds…

Jakuren.

52

The Right team remark here that they were ‘unable to grasp’ the first line of the Left’s poem, possibly suggesting a judgement that kokoro aru, which I’ve translated here as ‘Souls stirred’, and which refers to the ability to be moved emotionally by phenomena, or events, was an unsuitable expression for mere ‘guardsmen’. The Left team state bluntly that the reference to ‘the folk above the clouds’ was ‘unsuited to this rite’, meaning the New Year archery contest, in which members of the higher nobility, the ‘folk above the clouds’, did not participate.

Spring I: 24

eft (Tie).

雪消ゆる枯野の下の淺緑去年の草葉や根にかへるらん

yuki kiyuru
kareno no shita no
asamidori
kozo no kusaba ya
ne ni kaeruran
The snows are gone from off
The sere fields, and beneath,
Pale green:
Last year’s growth seems
To have returned to its roots…

A Servant Girl

47

Right (Tie).

春雨は去年見し野邊のしるべかは緑にかへる荻の燒原

harusame wa
kozo mishi nobe no
shirube ka wa
midori ni kaeru
ogi no yakehara
The gentle rains of spring:
To the fields I gazed upon last year
Do they show the way?
For greeness has returned,
To the burnt miscanthus grass…

Jakuren

48

Both teams state that the other’s poem was ‘in the same vein’.

Shunzei judges that the Left’s ‘Last year’s growth seems/To have returned to its roots’ and the Right’s ‘For greeness has returned,/To the burnt miscanthus grass’ are ‘pleasantly charming’, so neither poem can be adjudged the winner.

Spring I: 16

Left (Tie).

春風に池の氷や解けぬらん待たれぬ浪の花を見る哉

haru kaze ni
ike no kôri ya
tokenuran
matarenu nami no
hana o miru kana
In the breath of spring
Will the ice upon the pond
Melt?
Unanticipated blossom touched
Waves come into view…

Lord Kanemune.

31

Right (Tie).

鶯のなみだのつらゝ聲ながらたよりにさそへ春の山水

uguisu no
namida no tsurara
koe nagara
tayori ni sasoe
haru no yama mizu
The bush warbler’s
Tears of ice,
And song,
Issue an invitation!
To the mountain waters this springtime…

Jakuren.

32

The Right team have no comments to make about the Left’s poem this round, but the Left wonder whether the essence of the poem, of the warbler’s ‘tears of ice’ and song inviting the waters, might not be a bit much?

Shunzei remarks that the form and phrasing of the Left’s poem is ‘certainly charming’, and echoes their criticism of the Right’s poem, as having an ‘impossible essence’. He then goes on to say, ‘The Left is placidly charming; the Right’s essence must be excessive. They are equivalent and I judge this round a tie.’

Spring I: 12

Left (Win).

空はなを霞もやらず風冴えて雪氣にくもる春の夜の月

sora wa nao
kasumi mo yarazu
kaze saete
yukige ni kumoru
haru no yo no tsuki
The skies are still
Untouched by haze;
The wind clearly brings
A sense of snow to cloud
The moon, this springtime night.

A Servant Girl

23

Right.

梅が枝の匂ばかりや春ならんなを雪深し窓のあけぼの

ume ga e no
nioi bakari ya
haru naran
nao yuki fukashi
mado no akebono
Is a branch of plum’s
Scent alone
Spring?
Still the snows lie deep
Outside my window this dawn.

Jakuren

24

Neither team has any criticisms to make of the other’s poem in this round.

Shunzei comments that both poems are simply and beautifully constructed in both form and phrasing, and the final two lines of both poems are equally charming. He feels, though, that the beginning of the Right’s poem would have been improved if, instead of ‘a branch of plum’ (ume ga e), which focuses the audience’s attention on the branch, and not the blossom, it had begun ‘Is the plum beneath my eaves’ (noki no ume), instead. In addition, while reluctant to discount ‘outside my window this dawn’ (mado no akebono), he cannot help but feel that ‘the moon, this springtime night’ (haru no yo no tsuki) is a more superlative conclusion, and so has to award victory to the Left.