Left (Win).
枕にも跡にも露の玉散りてひとり起きゐる小夜の中山
| makura ni mo ato ni mo tsuyu no tama chirite hitori oki’iru sayo no naka yama |
Upon my pillow and My foot prints both, dew Drops have fallen Awakening alone in Sayo-no-Nakayama. |
A Servant Girl
889
Right.
草枕ひとりあかしの浦風にいとゞ涙ぞ落ちまさりける
| kusamakura hitori akashi no ura kaze ni itodo namida zo ochimasarikeru |
Pillowed on the grass, Alone at dawn in Akashi, The breeze from the bay Makes even more tears Fall. |
Lord Tsune’ie.
890
The Right state they have no criticisms of the Left’s poem. The Left merely say that the Right’s poem is ‘old-fashioned’.
Shunzei’s judgement: The Left’s ‘dew drops’ (tsuyu no tama) falling so widely at Sayo-no-Nakayama one can surmise to be deeply expressive of the concept of travel. The Right’s Akashi Bay is a place strongly associated with the sad sound of the wind and the waves, but the final ‘makes even more fall’ (ochimasarikeru) is insufficient. Thus, the Left should win.
Left.
葦垣の上吹越ゆる夕風に通ふもつらき荻の音かな
| ashigaki no ue fukikoyuru yūkaze ni kayou mo tsuraki ogi no oto kana |
The rush-wood fence is Brushed over By the evening breeze; So hard, its coming In the sound of the silver grass… |
A Servant Girl
887
Right (Win).
葦垣の間近き程に住む人のいつか隔てぬ中となるべき
| ashigaki no majikaki hodo ni sumu hito no itsuka hedatenu naka to narubeki |
The rush-wood fence: So near She lives; When will unblocked Our bond be? |
The Provisional Master of the Empress’ Household Office
888
The Right state: the Left’s poem has no faults. The Left state: the Right’s poem is old-fashioned.
In judgement: both poems start with ‘rush-wood fence’ (ashigaki); the Left’s sound of the silver grass passed over by the evening wind sounds pleasant, but simply saying that the sound is hard means that the conception of Love in the poem is weak. While the initial section of the Right’s poem does sound antiquated, it is quite normal for this to be the case, and the lower section is certainly elegant. The conception of Love also seems clear, so the Right should win.