Tag Archives: ashi

Love IV: 29

Left.
寢覺まで猶苦しき行歸り足も休めぬ夢の通ひ路

nezame made
nao kurushiki
yukikaeri
ashi mo yasumenu
yume no kayoiji
Until I awaken
It is ever painful
Going back and forth
My feet not resting once
Upon the path of dreams.

Lord Ari’ie.
837

Right.
忘らるゝ身をば思はで龍田山心にかゝる沖つ白波

wasuraruru
mi o ba omowade
tatsuta yama
kokoro ni kakaru
oki tsu shiranami
Forgotten
I think not on myself, but
On Mount Tatsuta
Dwells my heart
Whipped by whitecaps…

Jakuren.
838

The Gentlemen of the Right: no faults to mention. The Gentlemen of the Left state: the Right’s poem does not have anything to say beyond what is contained in its origin poem.

In judgement: the Left’s poem takes the conception of Komachi’s poem ‘my feet don’t rest, constantly trailing to you, yet’ (ashi mo yasumezu kayoedomo) and skilfully adds ‘Until I awaken it is ever painful’ (nezame made nao kurushiki). The Right’s poem is based upon the poem ‘where, through night’s depths, my Lord’ (yowa ni ya kimi ga), but then says ‘Dwells my heart whipped by whitecaps’ (kokoro ni kakaru oki tsu shiranami), which sounds pleasant, too. They are comparable and should tie.

Love I: 24

Left (Win).

忘れずよほのぼの人を三嶋江のたそがれなりし蘆のまよひに

wasurezu yo
honobono hito o
mishimae no
tasogare narishi
ashi no mayoi ni
Never will I forget you
Who I glimpsed faintly
In the dusk of Mishima Bay
A single reed
Causes confusion.

A Servant Girl.

647

Right.

花の色に移る心は山櫻霞のまより思ひそめてき

hana no iro ni
utsuru kokoro wa
yamazakura
kasumi no ma yori
omoisometeki
A blossom’s hue
Has caught my heart;
A mountain cherry
Through the parted mists
Has set me on the path of love.

Lord Takanobu.

648

The Gentlemen of the Right state: saying simply ‘dusk’ (tasogare) when it should be ‘the hour of dusk’ (tasogare toki) sounds somewhat strange. The Gentlemen of the Left state: the Right’s poem is composed to recall the Kokinshū’s ‘A mountain cherry through the drifting mists’ (yamazakura kasumi no ma yori), but is inferior to the original.

Shunzei’s judgement: in regard to the Left’s poem, it is certainly the case that, even without the ‘hour’, ‘in the dusk’ is a standard expression. The Right’s poem sounds old-fashioned. The Left, though, does not sound unpleasant, even though its mentioning of ‘never will I forget’ (wasurezu yo) recollects ‘a tiled kiln’. It should win.

Love I: 23

Left.

憂しつらし安積の沼の草の名よかりにも深き縁は結ばで

ushi tsurashi
asaka no numa no
kusa no na yo
kari ni mo fukaki
en wa musubade
How cruel and cold!
At Asaka Marsh
The once seen reeds do grow;
Briefly, a deep
Bond will not be made.

Lord Sada’ie.

645

Right.

かゝりける姿の池の鴛の聲聞きては袖の濡れし數かは

kakarikeru
sugata no ike no
oshi no koe
kikite wa sode no
nureshi kazu ka wa
Such a
Form! On Sugata Pond
The loving mandarin duck calls
I hear and my sleeves:
Drenched how many times?

Jakuren.

646

Neither team has any criticisms this round.

Shunzei’s judgement: ‘The Left’s ‘At Asaka Marsh’ (asaka no numa) and the Right’s ‘On Sugata Pond the loving mandarin duck calls’ (sugata no ike no oshi no koe) are both tasteful in diction [yū no kotoba ni wa haberu], but beginning with ‘How cruel and cold!’ (ushi tsurashi) sounds like the poet is writing a love letter, and this is overly informal for a poetry competition [uta’awase ni wa kegen naru yō ni ya haberan]. ‘On Sugata Pond the loving mandarin duck calls’ is charming, but why did the poet not continue with ‘I did hear and my sleeves’ (kikishi wa sode no)? In any case, this round neither poem is markedly superior to the other.

Love I: 4

Left (Win).

靡かじな海士の藻塩火焚き初めて煙は空にくゆりわぶ共

nabikaji na
ama no moshiobi
takisomete
kemuri wa sora ni
kuyuriwabutomo
She has not so much as waved to me, yet
The fisher-folk salt fires
Have begun to kindle and
The smoke into the skies
Has yet to rise…

Lord Sada’ie.

607

ight.

葦の屋の隙漏る雨の雫こそ音聞かぬより袖は濡れけれ

ashi no ya no
hima moru ame no
shizuku koso
oto kikanu yori
sode wa nurekeri
Through a roof of reeds’
Chinks, drenching rain
Drops
Make no sound, yet
Soak my sleeves.

Lord Takanobu.

608

The Right state that it should be kuyuru in the Left’s poem – and that they are not accustomed to hearing kuyuri. The Left state that, ‘while the rain falling on a roof of reeds would make no sound, once it became drops dripping through, it would. In addition, while it “makes no sound”, how can it be love?’

Shunzei’s judgement: The gentlemen of the Right’s claim that the Left’s poem should be kuyuri is incorrect. This is simply a case of the same diction as in utsuru-utsuri, todomaru-todomari – I should not have to give more examples. In form the poems do have good and bad points [utazama zen’aku arubeki]. I have the feeling I have recently seen something similar to the Right’s metaphorical use of a roof of reeds. Or maybe it was not that recently. The Left’s ‘has yet to rise’ seems better. I shall make it the winner.

Autumn III: 5

Left.

蘆の屋の蔦這ふ軒の村時雨音こそ立てね色は隱れず

ashi no ya no
tsuta hau noki no
murashigure
oto koso tatene
iro wa kakurezu
My roof of reeds,
Ivy twining on the eaves, is struck
By a soft shower
Sound is there none, but
The hues cannot hide…

Lord Sada’ie.

429

Right.

今朝見れば蔦這う軒に時雨して忍のみこそ青葉也けり

kesa mireba
tsuta hau noki ni
shigureshite
shinobu nomi koso
aoba narikeri
When I looked this morning,
The ivy twining on the eaves
Was struck by a shower;
Only the ferns remember
To remain green-leaved.

Lord Takanobu.

430

Neither team has any criticisms to make of the other’s poem, and say as much.

Shunzei’s judgement: Both poems are concern ‘a shower falling on ivy-clad eaves’, with the Left mentioning no sound from a ‘roof of reeds’ and the Right the different hues of ‘fern-remembered eaves’ (shinobu no noki). Thus, there is not much between them. I make them the same quality.

Autumn II: 24

Left (Win).

浪寄する澤の蘆邊をふし侘て風に立つなり鴫の羽がき

nami yosuru
sawa no ashibe o
fushiwabite
kaze ni tatsunari
shigi no hanegaki
A wave beats on
The marshy reed beds;
Roost broken, sorrowfully
Starting up into the breeze
The snipe work their wings.

A Servant Girl.

407

Right.

明ぬとて澤立つ鴫の一聲は羽かくよりも哀なりけり

akenu tote
sawa tatsu shigi no
hito koe wa
hane kaku yori mo
aware narikeri
Crying that there’s no dawn yet,
Starting from the marsh, a snipe’s
Single call,
More that his beating wings
Summons sadness…

Ietaka.

408

The Right wonder, ‘if it wouldn’t be rather difficult for a lightly beat its wings on taking off into the wind, as in the Left’s poem?’ The Left respond with, ‘In the Right’s poem, the accustomed reference to the sound of the snipe’s wings, seems subordinated to its cry. Is that right?’

Shunzei’s judgement: A snipe’s wing-beats on taking off into a strong wind are not that vigorous. ‘The snipe work their wings’ (shigi no hanegaki) is what they do, whether gently or not. However, this poem has more of a feeling of reed-bed dwelling birds like cranes, or plovers. In the Right’s poem, it’s not clear what kind of snipe it is ‘starting from the marsh’. The Left’s ‘reed-bed snipe’ should win.

Autumn I: 23

Left (Win).

ひとり寢る葦の丸屋の下露に床を傡べて鶉鳴く也

hitori nuru
ashi no maruya no
shimo tsuyu ni
toko o narabete
uzura nakunari
Sleeping singly
In a reed-roofed hut,
Dripped with dew,
Beside my bed
The quails are crying.

A Servant Girl.

345

Right.

秋風に靡く尾花の夕露や鶉が閨の雨と散るらむ

akikaze ni
nabiku obana no
yūzuyu ya
uzura ga neya no
ame to chiruramu
In the autumn breeze
Flutter fronds of silvergrass,
Scattering dewdrops
On the quails’ roost –
How like rain…

The Provisional Master of the Empress’ Household Office.

346

The Right state that the Left’s poem has no faults. The Left state that, ‘“On the quails’ roost – how like rain” (uzura ga neya no ame) suggests that this is what it actually is.’

Shunzei disagrees: ‘It is not the case that uzura ga neya no ame definitely implies that it is actually rain, particularly with the scene set by dew on silvergrass. However, “beside my bed” (toko o narabete) is particularly attractive in expression. It should win.’

Love 57

Left (Tie).

くるゝ夜は衛士のたく火をそれと見よ室の八嶋も都ならねば

kururu yo wa
eji no taku hi wo
sore to miyo
muro no yashima mo
miyako naraneba
In the dark of night,
The conscripts kindled flames
Behold as my love, for
The waters of Muro no Yashima
Lie not within the capital.

113

Right (Tie).

蘆の屋に螢やまがふ海人やたく思ひも戀も夜はもえつゝ

ashi no ya ni
hotaru ya magau
ama ya taku
omoi mo koi mo
yoru wa moetsutsu
In a reed-roofed hut,
One might mistake for fireflies, or
Fisherfolk’s kindled fires
The passion and the love, that
Burns in me throughout the night.

114

Summer 20

Left (Win).

蘆の屋のかりねの床のふしのまにみじかく明る夏の夜な夜な

ashi no ya no
karine no toko no
fushi no ma ni
mijikaku akuru
natsu no yonayona
Out cutting reeds,
Upon a fleeting bed
I lie; between one reed-knot and another,
So brief comes the dawn
Each passing night in summer.

39

Right

うちなびくしげみが下のさゆり葉のしられぬほどにかよふ秋風

uchinabiku
shigemi ga shita no
sayuriba no
shirarenu hodo ni
kayou akikaze
Aflutter
Beneath the growth
Lilies,
Unknown
to all,
Are passed by an autumn breeze.

40