Left (Tie).
明方に夜はなりぬとや菅原や伏見の田居に鴫ぞ立ちける
akekata ni
yo wa narinu to ya
sugawara ya
fushimi no tai ni
shigi zo tachikeru |
Is it that dawn
Has come to break the night,
That from the sedge-lined
Fields of Fushimi
The snipe have started? |
Lord Suetsune.
403
Right.
明ぬるか鴫の羽がき閨過ぎて袖に月もる深草の里
akenuru ka
shigi no hanegaki
neya sugite
sode ni tsuki moru
fukakusa no sato |
Has dawn come?
The snipe’s wingbeats
Cross my bedchamber,
Sleeves lit by lonely moonlight
In the overgrown depths of Fukakusa… |
Lord Takanobu.
404
The Right state, ‘There is no precedent for the addition of “fields” (tai) to “sedge-lined Fushimi” (sugawara ya fushimi). In addition, using ya at the end of both the second and third lines is grating on the ear.’ The Left merely remark, ‘“Fukakusa” is now, perhaps more commonly associated with quail.”
Shunzei’s judgement: ‘In regard to the Right’s poem, although one would really like there to be a precedent, and there are doubtless rice fields in “sedge-lined Fushimi”, I do still feel that “fields” here is a little outre, is it not? While the Left’s “sleeved lit by lonely moonlight” (sode ni tsuki moru) is superlative, I would prefer “quail” to be associated with “Fukakusa”. If snipe call for a place name, it is not Fukakusa, but Yamada, I would think. Both poems are excellent, but with faults, and for this reason the round ties.’
