The Right state: ‘Unvisited bed’ (konu toko) sounds as if it is the bed doing the visiting. The Left state: we do not feel that the Right’s poem expresses its intended sense fully.
In judgement: I feel it sounds better to say that ‘through the deepening night’ (fukeyuku yowa) ‘is it now for the first bird call’ (tori no ne o ya wa) that one waits, rather than that one is in ‘an unvisited bed’ (konu toko) waiting for ‘brightening through my bedroom door’ (hima ya shiromu).
Both Left and Right state: we find no faults to remark upon.
In judgement: the Left’s ‘flying bird going’ (tobu tori no yuku kata) and the Right’s ‘spider spinning’ (kumo no furumai) are both certainly not uncharming. I make this round a tie.
It is said that Her Majesty, when on the way to the capital, Nara, from the Fujiwara palace, had her palanquin halted at Nagaya-no-hara and composed this poem gazing at her former home.
飛鳥 明日香能里乎 置而伊奈婆 君之當者 不所見香聞安良武 [一云 君之當乎 不見而香毛安良牟]
飛ぶ鳥の明日香の里を置きて去なば君があたりは見えずかもあらむ
tobu tori no
asuka no sato wo
okite inaba
kimi ga atari pa
miezu kamo aramu
A bird in flight: If the estate of Asuka I should leave behind, Then my Lord’s lands I will see no more.
tori ga naku
aduma no kuni ni
takayama pa
sa pa aredomo
putagami no
taputoki yama no
namitati no
migaposi yama to
kamuyo yori
pito no ipitugi
kunimi suru
tukuba no yama wo
puyukomori
toki ziki toki to
mizute ikaba
masite koposimi
yukigesuru
yamamiti sura wo
nadumi zo wa ga keru
In the bird-calling
Eastern lands
Mighty mountains
Many lie, yet
Twin deities –
The sacred mountains
Lie side-by-side;
Never tiring of the sight
Since the age of Gods
Have folk told the tale;
Gazing at the land:
Mount Tsukuba
Lay sealed in winter;
Not the time to do it, but
Without gazing at the land I did go, and
Loved it all the more;
Snow melting on
The mountain paths, even them
Have I climbed straining!