asahiyama mine no momiji o miwataseba yomo no kozue ni terimasarikeri
When upon Asahi Mountain’s Peak of scarlet leaves I turn my gaze, All over, the treetops Shine most bright!
Tamechika 81
Right (Win)
紅のやしほの色にめかれすなおなじはもりの神といへども
kurenai no yashio no iro ni mekaresu na onaji hamori no kami to iedomo
From the scarlet, Deeply dyed, hues O, avert not your eyes! Though the same leaves’ guardian Deity you are called…
Moromitsu 82
The Left has nothing particular to say and its expression is awkward. As for the Right, a number of learned men seem to have said that one does not compose about the guardian deity of the leaves in relation to trees in general, but about oak trees, yet a great many things have deities to protect them, so I wonder if the guardian deity of the leaves could be a deity for all types of tree—couldn’t it protect any of them? Thus, in this poem, too, couldn’t that be the case? While the concluding ‘though you are called’sounds overly direct, it appears it should win.
yuki fukami shizu no fuseya mo uzumorete keburi bakari zo shirushi narikeru
Snow so deep that The peasants’ huts, too, Are buried, and The smoke, alone, is Their only sign!
Kinshige 45
Right
花の春もみぢの秋もしるかりし松の木ずゑもみえぬ白雪
hana no haru momiji no aki mo shirukarishi matsu no kozue mo mienu shirayuki
By blossom is spring, and By scarlet leaves is autumn Known— The treetops of the pines Invisible with snow, so white.
Kūnin 46
The Left poem’s conception of ‘sign of smoke’ sounds particularly profound. As for the Right, it is possible for enough snow to fall to conceal a pine’s lower leaves, too, so the poem does not sound satisfying.
