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Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Autumn II: 18

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Left (Win).

山遠き門田の末は霧晴て穂波に沈む有明の月

yama tōki
kadota no sue wa
kiri harete
honami ni shizumu
ariake no tsuki		 By the distant mountains,
At the farthest reach of fields before my gates,
The mists are clearing, and
Sinking amongst the waves of rice-ears is
The dawntime moon…

A Servant Girl.

395

Right.

夕月夜ほのめく影も哀なり稲葉の風は袖に通ひて

yūzukuyo
honomeku kage mo
awarenari
inaba no kaze wa
sode ni kayoite		 The autumn evening moon’s
Faint light is
Moving, indeed;
The wind upon the rice-stalks
Passing o’er my sleeves…

Lord Takanobu.

396

The Right simply say that the Left’s poem is ‘good’. The Left have no criticisms of the Right’s poem.

Shunzei’s judgement: The Left’s ‘dawntime moon’ (ariake no tsuki) and the Right’s ‘early evening moon’ are both deeply moving; the Left, continuing with ‘at the farthest reach of fields before my gates, the mists are clearing’ (kadota no sue wa kiri harete) is particularly fine, I feel. ‘Sinking amongst the waves of rice-ears’ (honami ni shizumu) is certainly technically proficient, and yet lacks a certain profundity. And yet, the initial ‘By the distant mountains’ (yama tōki) show a true depth. It should win.

Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Autumn II: 11

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Left (Tie).

物思はでかゝる露やは袖に置く眺めてけりな秋の夕暮

mono’omoi wa de
kakaru tsuyu ya wa
sode ni oku
nagametekerina
aki no yūgure		 Without deep thought
Would such dewdrops
Fall upon my sleeves?
No, my gaze has, indeed, been lost
Upon this autumn evening…

A Servant Girl.

381

Right (Tie).

さてもさはいかにかすべき身の憂さを思果つれば秋の夕暮

sate mo sa wa
ika ni kasubeki
mi no usa o
omoihatsureba
aki no yūgure		 And so
How should I escape
From my misery?
I thought t’was done and yet
Am faced with a lonely autumn evening…

Nobusada.

382

Both teams feel the other’s poem is ‘most fine’.

Shunzei’s judgement: Both poems take the topic of ‘Autumn evenings’ and present one type of emotional import before reversing it, making it difficult to judge between them. It would seem arbitrary to assign a winner and loser between such phrases as the Left’s initial section ‘Would such dewdrops fall upon my sleeves?’ (kakaru tsuyu ya wa sode ni oku) and the Right’s final section ‘I thought t’was done and yet am faced with a lonely autumn evening…’ (omoihatsureba aki no yūgure). Thus, the round ties.

Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Autumn II: 5

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Left (Win).

降り暮す小萩がもとの庭の雨を今夜は荻の上に聞く哉

furikurasu
kohagi ga moto no
niwa no ame o
koyoi wa ogi no
ue ni kiku kana		 Falling with the darkness
To the solitary bush-clover’s roots
The rain within my garden
Tonight, on the silver grass
I hear.

A Servant Girl.

369

Right.

荻原や野邊の秋風末分てさびしさ添ふる村雨の聲

ogiwara ya
nobe no aki kaze
sue wakete
sabishisa souru
murasame no koe		 Silver grass meadows –
Across the fields the autumn wind
Brushes the fronds;
Adding loneliness to
The whisper of showers…

Lord Takanobu.

370

The Right say, ‘In the Left’s poem, it sounds as if the rain falls in daytime on “the solitary bush-clover’s roots” (kohagi ga moto) and at night “on the silver grass” (ogi no ue).’ The Left have no criticisms of the Right’s poem.

Shunzei judges, ‘I see no fault in saying that the “rain falling with the darkness” (furikurasu ame) is something one can see on the bush clover’s roots during the day, but only hear at night. As for the Right, “Across the fields the autumn wind brushes the fronds” (nobe no aki kaze sue wakete) is superb in construction. In the final line “whisper of showers” (murasame no koe) , though, “whisper” is an excessively direct personalisation, is it not? The spirit of the Left’s “on the silver grass” must win.”

Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Autumn I: 29

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Left.

昨日まで蓬に閉ぢし柴の戸も野分に晴るゝ岡の邊の里

kinō made
yomogi ni tojishi
shiba no to mo
nowaki ni haruru
oka no be no sato		 Until yesterday
Sealed by mugwort was
This brushwood door;
Swept clear by the gale
The hills around my dwelling.

A Servant Girl.

357

Right.

假にさす庵までこそ靡きけれ野分に堪へぬ小野の篠原

kari ni sasu
iori made koso
nabikikere
nowaki ni taenu
ono no shinohara		 Roughly thatched,
Even my hut
Has blown away:
Unable to endure the gales
Amongst the arrow bamboo groves…

Ietaka.

358

Both teams say they can appreciate the sentiment of the opposing team’s poem.

Shunzei agrees: ‘Both the Left’s “hills around my dwelling” (oka no be no sato) and the Right’s “arrow bamboo groves” (ono no shinohara) are charming. “Sealed by mugwort was this brushwood door; swept clear by the gale” (yomogi ni tojishi shiba no to mo nowaki ni haruru) and “Even my hut has blown away: unable to endure the gales” (iori made koso nabikikere nowaki ni taenu) have no failings in form between them. Thus, the round ties.’

Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Autumn I: 23

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Left (Win).

ひとり寢る葦の丸屋の下露に床を傡べて鶉鳴く也

hitori nuru
ashi no maruya no
shimo tsuyu ni
toko o narabete
uzura nakunari		 Sleeping singly
In a reed-roofed hut,
Dripped with dew,
Beside my bed
The quails are crying.

A Servant Girl.

345

Right.

秋風に靡く尾花の夕露や鶉が閨の雨と散るらむ

akikaze ni
nabiku obana no
yūzuyu ya
uzura ga neya no
ame to chiruramu		 In the autumn breeze
Flutter fronds of silvergrass,
Scattering dewdrops
On the quails’ roost –
How like rain…

The Provisional Master of the Empress’ Household Office.

346

The Right state that the Left’s poem has no faults. The Left state that, ‘“On the quails’ roost – how like rain” (uzura ga neya no ame) suggests that this is what it actually is.’

Shunzei disagrees: ‘It is not the case that uzura ga neya no ame definitely implies that it is actually rain, particularly with the scene set by dew on silvergrass. However, “beside my bed” (toko o narabete) is particularly attractive in expression. It should win.’

Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Autumn I: 17

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Left (Win).

はかなしや荒れたる宿のうたゝ寢に稲妻通ふ手枕の露

hakanashi ya
aretaru yado no
utatane ni
inazuma kayou
tamakura no tsuyu		 How brief it was!
In a ruined dwelling
Dozing, when
Lightning crossed
The dewdrops on my pillowing arm…

A Servant Girl.

333

Right.

すだき來し澤の螢は影消てたえだえ宿る宵の稲妻

sudakikoshi
sawa no hotaru wa
kage kiete
taedae yadoru
yoi no inazuma		 All together have
The fireflies above the marsh
Lost their light;
Briefly remaining,
Lightning at the dusk…

Jakuren.

334

The Right state that they have no criticisms of the Left’s poem. The Left wonder about the suitability of fireflies disappearing in the autumn.

Shunzei feels, ‘The Left’s poem is certainly charming in form and expression, but more thought should have been given to the initial phrase “How brief it was!” (hakanashi ya). The Right’s poem, too, is charming, and as for fireflies being a topic for summer poetry alone, in autumn it is acceptable to compose on the failing of their light, is it not? Did not Anjin compose “Fireflies flashing on the palace stairs and gates/Crickets crying from the eaves and tiles”? There is also the example from the Collection of Songs to Sing Aloud of “Seeking cuckoo calls in the dawntime clouds/Innumerable fireflies flit among the autumn grasses”. Still, the Left’s “dewdrops on my pillowing arm” wins, I think.’

Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Autumn I: 11

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Left (Win).

星合の空の光となる物は雲井の庭に照らす灯し火

hoshiai no
sora no hikari to
naru mono wa
kumoi no niwa ni
terasu tomoshibi		 The stars meeting in
The sky is lit
By
The Palace gardens’
Shining torches.

A Servant Girl.

321

Right.

七夕は雲の上より雲の上に心を分けて嬉しかるらん

tanabata wa
kumo no ue yori
kumo no ue ni
kokoro o wakete
ureshikaruran		 At Tanabata
Above the heavens’ clouds, and
Above the clouds on earth
Between them is the heart divided
In joy, no doubt!

Nobusada.

322

The Right state that the Left’s poem has no faults. The Left, on the other hand, say, ‘The Right’s poem seems to have very little of celebration about it. In addition, the expression “Above the heavens’ clouds, and above the clouds on earth” (kumo no ue yori kumo no ue ni) seems to have reversed the proper sense.’ (‘Above the clouds’ was a standard euphemism for the palace, and by association, the Emperor. Putting him in a secondary position here was perceived as a fault.)

Shunzei’s judgement: ‘“Above the heavens’ clouds, and above the clouds on earth” can be criticised, I think, for repeating the same phrase twice. And, what might one make of it having “reversed the proper sense”? The Left’s poem is faultless. The Right’s does, indeed, lack a conception of celebration, so the Left, again, win this round.’

Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Autumn I: 6

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Left.

打ち寄する浪より秋の龍田川さても忘れぬ柳陰かな

uchiyosuru
nami yori aki no
tatsutagawa
satemo wasurenu
yanagikage kana		 Approaching on
The waves, comes autumn to
The Tatsuta River;
And yet, I cannot forget
The willows’ shade.

A Servant Girl.

311

Right.

秋淺き日影に夏は殘れども暮るゝ籬は荻の上風

aki asaki
hikage ni natsu wa
nokoredomo
kururu magaki wa
ogi no uwakaze		 Faintly autumnal is
The sunlight, with summer
Yet remaining;
At evening by the rough-woven fence
Blows a breeze o’er the silver-grass.

Nobusada.

312

The Right say the Left’s poem is ‘particularly good.’ The Left state that, ‘“Faintly autumnl” (aki asaki) grates on the ear, and we also cannot grasp the use of “evening by the rough-woven fence” (kururu magaki).’

Shunzei states, ‘The Left’s “approaching on the waves” (nami yori aki no), seems particularly charming, but when taken together with “willows’ shade” (yanagi kade)– the Tatsuta River has long been the subject of composition on “flowing scarlet autumn leaves”, and even now this gives a slightly poetic effect; “willows’ shade” has been used in composition, both in ancient times and more recently, but does it not seem commonplace now? The Right’s poem is in the same vein as that of the Right in Round One Hundred and Fifty-Two, yet I do not find “faintly autumnal” to be unpleasant. “Evening by the rough-woven fence”, too, has charm. The Left’s poem has vocabulary in accordance with the contents; the Right unusual expressions. In this combination, the round must tie.’

Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Summer II: 30

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Left (Win).

鳴蝉の羽に置く露に秋かけて木陰涼しき夕暮の聲

naru semi no
ha ni oku tsuyu ni
aki kakete
kokage suzushiki
yūkure no koe		 Upon the singing cicadas’
Wings fall dewdrops,
Heralding autumn;
Cool, and shaded by the trees
Are their evening songs…

A Servant Girl.

299

Right.

夏深き杜の梢にかねてより秋をかなしむ蝉の聲かな

natsu fukaki
mori no kozue ni
kanete yori
aki o kanashimu
semi no koe kana		 In the depths of summer
From the forest treetops,
Long before
Autumn, in sadness
Do the cicadas sing.

Jakuren.

300

Neither Left nor Right can find fault with the other’s poem this round.

Shunzei states, ‘It is rather difficult to know a cicada’s mind – as to whether or not it is mourning the coming of autumn long before it arrives. The Left’s “Wings fall dewdrops, heralding autumn” (ha ni oku tsuyu ni aki kakete), is particularly delicate in expression and charming. It must win.’

Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Summer II: 19

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Left.

入日さす外山の雲は晴れにけり嵐にすぐる夕立の空

irihi sasu
toyama no kumo wa
harenikeri
arashi ni suguru
yūdachi no sora		 Setting sun shines
Upon the clouds atop the mountains,
Cleared by
Storm winds ‘cross
A sky of evening showers…

A Servant Girl.

277

Right (Win).

谷川の流れを見ても知られけり雲越す峰の夕立の空

tanikawa no
nagare o mitemo
shirarekeri
kumo kosu mine no
yūdachi no sora		 The valley’s streams’
Swift flow, I glimpse and
Realise:
The peak crossing clouds are
A sky of evening showers.

Jakuren.

278

Neither team finds anything to object to in the other’s poem.

Shunzei states simply, ‘Both poems have particularly find latter sections. However, the Left is finer, I feel.