Shunzei’s judgement: The Left’s ‘What should I recall? The fields of grasses’ (nani ni nokosan kusa no hara) is charming [en ni koso haberumere]. The gentlemen of the Right’s reasoning for finding fault with ‘fields of grasses’ is highly flawed [mottomo utata aru ni ya]. Murasaki Shikibu was better at writing prose than composing poems. Thus, The Festival of the Cherry Blossoms is particularly charming [koto ni en’naru mono nari]. It is highly regrettable for one to compose poetry without having read The Tale of Genji. The Right’s poem does not appear poor in diction and conception [kokoro kotoba ashiku wa miezaru]. However, it is extremely mundane in style [tsune no tei narubeshi]. The Left’s poem is better, and I make it the winner.
The Right state that the Left’s poem is difficult to understand, and that it would have better to have had ‘unknown to all’ (shirarenu) in place of ‘I knew not’ (shiranu).The Left state that the ‘diction of the Right’s poem does not flow smoothly’ [kotoba, todokohoritari].
Shunzei’s judgement: The Left’s ‘alone at last’ (waketomete) is something I wonder at the meaning of, however, the final section is excellent [yoroshiku haberubeshi]. The Right’s poem appears to express the conception [kokoro aru yō ni wa haberu o], but due to the dual use of ‘flowers’ (hana), ‘chrysanthemums’ (kiku) are reduced to a hidden topic [kakushidai naru yō naru], and this sounds insufficient. The Left wins.
The Right have no criticisms to make of the Left’s poem. The Left state that they find the Right’s poem, ‘difficult to grasp’. In reply, the Right say, ‘It is conceived after a Chinese poem that “the wind in the pines is the sound of rain”.’
Shunzei’s judgement: The Left’s poem is excellent in both configuration and diction [sugata kotoba yoroshiku haberumere]. The Right’s ‘clouded only by a storm’ (arashi ni kumoru) sounds charming in conception [kokoro okashiku kikoyu] – even without drawing upon the Chinese model. In this round, too, there is no clear winner or loser and it must tie.
The Right state that ‘hurry along the showers’ (shigure o isogu) is lacking in technique [jutsu nashi]. The Left merely say that the Right’s poem ‘isn’t bad.’
Shunzei’s judgement: Both poems use ‘now’ (ima wa) in their diction [kotoba], in conjunction with a powerful [sechinaru] conception [kokoro] of regretting autumn’s passing. Nevertheless, the Gentleman of the Left has said the Right’s poem ‘isn’t bad’ and the Gentleman of the Right has said that of the Left ‘lacks technique’. I feel, however, that the initial conception ‘Princess Tatsuta, at this time, now’ (tatsuta hime ima wa) does not refer only to autumn [but could be used for winter, too]. The Right’s ‘Autumn, now ended with the evening skies’ (aki mo ima wa no yūgure no sora) is also somewhat lacking in technique, is it not? Thus, the round lacks a clear winner, or loser.
The Right state that, ‘If it were ‘dewdrops flung by the wind’ (tsuyu wa kaze ni koboreshi), the conception [kokoro] of the Left’s poem would be easier to understand.’ The Left respond that, ‘The meanings of both are identical. However, in the Right’s poem it is not clear what the ‘last leaf’ (sueba) is.’
Shunzei’s judgement: ‘The Right’s poem, in addition to the expression ‘autumn’s last leaf’ having no clear referent, shows a weakness of conception [kokoro sukunaku kikoyu] with ‘looking at the moon’ (tsuki mireba). The Left, progressing from, ‘bound with frost’ (shimo musubu) to ‘leaf tips’ (sueba) and then ‘dwarf-bamboo grove’ (ozasawara) sounds most fine [yoroshiku kikokyu]. Thus, the Left must win.
The Right have no criticisms to make of the Left’s poem. The Left state that the Right’s ‘Upon the eight-fold blooming chrysanthemums, a nine-fold layer’ (yae saku kiku o kokonoe ni) is lifted wholesale from an earlier famous poem.
Shunzei’s judgement: Both Left and Right charmingly express the conception [kokoro wa okashikuhaberu] of the Chrysanthemum Festival, but the Left’s ‘Are the words in which folk blossom forth!’ (hito no kotoba no hana ni zo arikeru) has a slightly better air about it at present.
The Right have no criticisms to make of the Left’s poem. The Left query the usage of ‘from all around’ (atari made).
Shunzei’s judgement: The Right’s poem would certainly appear to have an in-depth grasp of the conception of the topic [makoto ni kokoro komorige ni miete], however, my shallow understanding is unable to follow it; besides which the Left’s ‘to the grass beneath the sacred boughs has autumn come!’ (mori no shitagusa aki fukenikeri) is most fine [yoroshiku habereba], so I have no need for further consideration and make the Left the winner.
Shunzei’s judgement: Both Left and Right seem superb in form and diction [sugata kotoba wa yoroshiku miehaberu], but the Right’s ‘cogon-grass grows’ (asaji tatsu) is pretentious [yauyaushiku], and I wonder what to make [ikaga to oboehaberu] of the final ‘wet with constant showers’ (uchishiguretsutsu), but the conception [kokoro] of the Left’s ‘Utsu Mountain’, with its ‘ancient ruins’ brought back to memory by ‘on the withered ivy leaves the winds of autumn a’blowing’, is particularly tasteful [en]. Thus, the Left certainly wins.
The Right wonder, ‘if it wouldn’t be rather difficult for a lightly beat its wings on taking off into the wind, as in the Left’s poem?’ The Left respond with, ‘In the Right’s poem, the accustomed reference to the sound of the snipe’s wings, seems subordinated to its cry. Is that right?’
Shunzei’s judgement: A snipe’s wing-beats on taking off into a strong wind are not that vigorous. ‘The snipe work their wings’ (shigi no hanegaki) is what they do, whether gently or not. However, this poem has more of a feeling of reed-bed dwelling birds like cranes, or plovers. In the Right’s poem, it’s not clear what kind of snipe it is ‘starting from the marsh’. The Left’s ‘reed-bed snipe’ should win.