The Right state: the Left’s poem is most admirable. The Left state: the Right’s poem is definitely not!
In judgement: to give the gist of the comments by the Gentlemen of the Left and the Right, the Left’s poem is admirable, and the Right’s poem is not admirable at all. I see no need to make much more of this round that that, so, the Left wins.
In judgement: both poems’ initial sections have nothing between them in terms of strengths or faults. Of the latter sections, ‘mounting up, then from my sleeves’ (tsumoreba sode no) is pleasant. Again, the Right should win.
Left and Right both state that the opposing poem is pretentious.
In judgement: the Left’s poem seems well-constructed in its initial and final sections. However, as in Mototoshi’s poem long ago, ‘breaking a stem of miscanthus on the beach at Ise’, this seems to be a case of poetic allusion. The Right’s ‘Sleeves spread atop the rocks, waves breaking atop them’ (iwa shiku sode no nami no ue) seems to have been newly composed and seems elegant, but the final section is somewhat inferior. The Left has beginning and end matching. The Right has a superior initial section, but an inferior final one. Thus, the round ties.
Both teams state there are no faults with their opponent’s poem.
In judgement: the Gentlemen of both Left and Right have stated that there are no faults with the style of either poem. I accept that and will make this round a tie.
In judgement: although the Left’s poem sounds a little over-familiar, it certainly does have conception. The Right’s poem does sound smooth, but the origin poem has ‘Forget me not’ (wasuru na yo) – and this has ‘I will not forget’ (wasurezu yo) – the origin poem has ‘for distant as the clouds’ (hodo wa kumoi ni) – and this has ‘how far beyond the clouds’ (iku kumoi to wa); and ‘as the moon across the skies’ (sora yuku tsuki no) is identical, so the only part which as been changed is ‘I shall return – ‘til then’ (meguri au made). It is only to be expected that it would sound good, given that it presents much of the same material in the same order. The Left should win.
The Right state: the Left’s poem seems a bit too young. The Left state: ‘Simply was I used to playing’ (nani to naku asobinarenuru) seems rather prosaic diction.
In judgement: although the latter part of the Left’s poem and the initial section of the Right’s are both pleasant, the Left’s use of ‘speak’ (oto) feels unnecessary. The latter section of the Right’s poem seems particularly good. It should win.
The Right state: the Left’s poem has no faults to mention. The Left state: we wonder about the appropriateness of ‘now’s the time to dampen them’ (ima wa to nuren).
In judgement: ‘Feeling like an ancient’ (okina sabi) ‘now’s the time to dampen them’ (ima wa to nuren) does not sound like it fits formally with ‘but I regret it not!’ (mi wa oshikaranu). The Left, in addition to sounding like it has no faults, has ‘this parting is not; now it is’ (aranu wakare mo ima wa tote), which certainly sounds right. It is superior.