Category Archives: Poetry Competitions

Eien narabō uta’awase 03

Round Three

Left (Win)

うきよにもはなのさかりになりぬればものおもふ人はあらじとぞ思ふ

ukiyo ni mo
hana no sakari ni
narinureba
mono’omou hito wa
araji to zo omou
Even in this cruel world
The blossoms in profusion
Are, so
Folk sunk in gloomy thought
Are there likely not a one, I feel!

Retired from the world on Mount Uji
5

Right

ちらざらむことこそはなのかたからめわびてはさてもしばしあらなむ

chirazaramu
koto koso hana no
katakarame
wabite wa sate mo
shibashi aranamu
Not to scatter
For the blossoms is a thing
So hard—
It may be painful, but still
I would have them stay a while.

Senior Assistant Minister Past Lecturer
6

I fail to understand—at all—why there should be a large number of people for whom the world is cruel. This is deeply unpleasant. In connection with this there’s an older poem which says ‘innumerable, my sorry self alone has caused these woes’.[i] The poem of the Right has ‘It may be painful, but still / I would have them stay a while’—if the blossoms have not yet scattered, then how can this still be painful? I cannot grasp the diction and reasoning of these two poems, so they tie.

The poem of the Left has some conception—it appears to be expressing sentiments that are natural. It’s extremely charming how it links with the conception of the old expression ‘the heart of spring’.[ii] However, the diction ‘feel/think’ [omou] appears in two places. I do feel that in terms of the sequencing of the phrasing, that’s certainly how it is, so it’s not a fault as such, but I would have preferred to see the second usage at the beginning of its line. As for the poem of the Right, from ‘painful’ to the end, it is immature. It doesn’t sound like a poem and resembles prosaic speech. Thus, I have to say the Left is the winner.


[i] Mototoshi appears to be misremembering this poem: Topic unknown. おほかたのわが身ひとつのうきからになべての世をも怨みつるかな ōkata no / wa ga mi hitotsu no / uki kara ni / nabete no yo o mo / uramitsuru kana ‘In general / My sorry self, alone, / Has caused these woes, but / Still all of this common world / I do despise!’ Tsurayuki (SIS XV: 953).

[ii] Toshiyori is referring to this poem from Kokinshū here: Composed at the Nagisa Palace when he saw the cherries in bloom. 世中にたえてさくらのなかりせば春の心はのどけからまし yo no naka ni / taete sakura no / nakariseba / haru no kokoro wa / nodokekaramashi ‘If, in this world of ours / All the cherry blossom / Disappeared / The heart of spring / Might find peace.’ Ariwara no Narihira (KKS I: 53).

Entō ōn’uta’awase 25

Round Twenty-Five

Dew on Bush Clover

Left

下葉には色なる玉やくだくらむ風の吹きしく萩の上の露

shitaba ni wa
iro naru tama ya
kudakuramu
kaze no fukishiku
hagi no ue no tsuyu
From the underleaves
Hues have the gemlets taken
In their shattering?
Spread by the gusting wind
Are the dewdrops on the bush clover…

A Court Lady
49

Right (Win)

又やみむ又や見ざらん白露の玉おきしける秋萩の花

mata ya mimu
mata ya mizaran
shiratsuyu no
tama okishikeru
akihagi no hana
Will I see again, or
Will I not
Silver dewdrop
Pearls spread upon
The autumn bush clover blooms?

Ietaka
50

The Left’s poem does not seem to have a particularly superlative style. The Right’s poem, saying ‘will I see again, or will I not silver dewdrops’ is particularly charming and moving. Thus, it wins.

Entō ōn’uta’awase 24

Round Twenty-Four

Left (Tie)

覚束なたれきけとてか時鳥さよふけ方の雲に鳴くらん

obotsukana
tare kike tote ka
hototogisu
sayo fukegata no
kumo ni nakuran
I do not understand—
Who is it that you demand hears you,
O, cuckoo?
Toward brief night’s dawn,
Calling from within the clouds…

Tomoshige
47

Right

待ちかねしよはも昔にかはらねばことしもつらし山時鳥

machikaneshi
yowa mo mukashi ni
kawaraneba
kotoshi mo tsurashi
yamahototogisu
Eagerly awaiting
Midnight, to find—as long before—
It all unchanged, so
This year, too, how cruel is
The mountain cuckoo!

Dharma Master Zenshin
48

Both Left and Right sound suitable. So, they should tie.

Entō ōn’uta’awase 23

Round Twenty-Three

Left (Tie)

時鳥山よりをちの里人はまたでや夜半の初音きくらん

hototogisu
yama yori ochi no
satobito wa
matade ya yowa no
hatsune kikuran
O, cuckoo,
Far from the mountains,
Will villagers
Without waiting, at midnight
Ever hear your first cry?

Chikanari
45

Right

うちしめる花橘の五月雨に軒もる夜半のほととぎすかな

uchishimeru
hanatachibana no
samidare ni
noki moru yowa no
hototogisu kana
When utterly drenched is
The orange blossom by
The summer showers.
Dripping from the eaves at midnight is
A cuckoo’s call!

Ie’kiyo
46

The Right’s poem has ‘Dripping from the eaves at midnight is a  cuckoo’s call!’—this sounds like it conveys the conception, but yet is stylistically unclear. The Left’s poem takes up the conception of ‘On the leg-wearying / Mountains’ far side / Folk dwell—I wonder / Do they not have to wait for the autumn / Moon to fill their gaze?’,[1] doesn’t it? Neither has any real point worth making, so they tie.


[1] This poem is: Topic unknown. あしびきの山のあなたにすむ人はまたでや秋の月をみるらんashihiki no / yama no anata ni / sumu hito wa / matade ya aki no / tsuki o miruran Former Emperor Sanjō (SKKS IV: 382).

Entō ōn’uta’awase 22

Round Twenty-Two

Left (Win)

五月雨にやすらふ暮の時鳥そなたの雲に声なへだてそ

samidare ni
yasurau kure no
hototogisu
sonata no kumo ni
koe na hedate so
In a summer shower,
Hesitating, at twilight,
O, cuckoo,
Let not the intervening clouds
Interrupt your song!

Shō
43

Right

過ぎぬなりさやはちぎりし時鳥なく音ばかりはこぞにかはらで

suginunari
saya wa chigirishi
hototogisu
naku ne bakari wa
kozo ni kawarade
And so you’ve flown by—
Is that what you vowed,
O, cuckoo?
For only the sound of your song
Is unchanged from the year before…

Nagatsuna
44

The Left’s poem doesn’t seem bad. The Right poem’s ‘For only the sound of your song is unchanged from the year before’ is somewhat difficult to grasp—if the cuckoo’s call has not changed, then what has? After all, cuckoos have ‘the voice of yesteryear’[1]—among other references—so it’s obvious that their calls don’t change, so the Left is somewhat better, I think.


[1] KKS III: 137

Entō ōn’uta’awase 21

Round Twenty-One

Left (Win)

しがらきの外山の末の郭公たが里ちかき初音なるらん

shigaraki no
toyama no sue no
hototogisu
ta ga sato chikaki
hatsune naruran
In Shigaraki
At the foothills’ end
A cuckoo
By whose estate
Might let out his first cry?

Takasuke
41

Right

橘のにほひを空に尋ねきて山時鳥なかぬ日ぞなき

tachibana no
nioi o sora ni
tazunekite
yamahototogisu
nakanu hi zo naki
Orange blossom’s familiar
Scent within the skies
I seek out, while
The mountain cuckoo
Fails to sing on not a single day…

Shimotsuke
42

The Left poem’s ‘near whose estate does it first call’ does not sound bad. The Right’s poem, too, seems to have no faults to mention, yet the Left still wins by a hair.

Entō ōn’uta’awase 20

Round Twenty

Left (Win)

あけぼのは涙やもろき時鳥なくねにおつる杜の下露

akenbono wa
namida ya moroki
hototogisu
naku ne ni otsuru
mori no shitazuyu
With the dawn
Are you swiftly to tears moved
By the cuckoo’s
Calling cries, falling from
The forest drip dewdrops?

Dōchin
39

Right

今もかも昔やこふる橘の花ちる里になく郭公

ima mo kamo
mukashi ya kouru
tachibana no
hana chiru sato ni
naku hototogisu
I wonder, is she now,
As in days gone by, beloved
Where orange
Blossom falls on the estate—
The calling cuckoo?[1]

Dharma Master Nyokan
40

Both Left and Right are of the same quality, yet I wonder about the sound of the Right poem’s final section, so the Left wins.


[1] An allusive variation on: A poem by the Governor-General of Dazai, Lord Ōtomo. 橘の花散る里の霍公鳥片恋しつつ鳴く日しぞ多き tachibana no / hana chiru sato no / hototogisu / kata koishitsutsu / naku hi shi zo ōki ‘Orange / Blossom scatters round my estate where / The cuckoo / For unrequited love / Does cry on many a day…’ Ōtomo no Tabito (MYS VIII: 1473)

Entō ōn’uta’awase 19

Round Nineteen

Left (Tie)

なれをしぞあはれとはおもふ時鳥あかず過ぎても歳のへぬれば

nare o shizo
aware to wa omou
hototogisu
akazu sugite mo
toshi no henureba
You, indeed, do
Deeply move me
O, cuckoo!
Never sated am I
Through all the passing years…

The Supernumerary Major Counsellor
37

Right

われならで何をうしとか時鳥ことしも雲のよそに鳴くらん

ware narade
nani o ushi to ka
hototogisu
kotoshi mo kumo no
yoso ni nakuran
Not I, but
What is it distresses you so,
O, cuckoo?
That this year, too, from the clouds
Yonder side you seem to sing…

Lord Nobunari
38

Both Left and Right don’t sound bad, so again this is a tie.

Entō ōn’uta’awase 18

Round Eighteen

Left (Tie)

神さぶるなげきの森の時鳥ひくしめなはもなくなくやこし

kamu saburu
nageki no mori no
hototogisu
hiku shimenawa mo
nakunaku ya koshi
In divine
Nageki’s sacred grove
Does the cuckoo to
Where the holy garlands  
Are hung not, come to sing?[1]

The Former Minister of the Centre
35

Right

さとわかずなけや五月の郭公忍びし比は恨みやはせし

sato wakazu
nake ya satsuki no
hototogisu
shinobishi koro wa
urami ya wa seshi
In every hamlet
Sing, O, Fifth Month
Cuckoo!
For when you chirped before,
I did not hate you for it…

Kozaishō
36

The Left’s poem is based on ‘Prayers / Alone I seem to hear at / This shrine, indeed, but / In the end, passion to grief’s / Grove will turn, no doubt…’ and sounds pleasant. The Right’s poem says ‘For when you chirped before, / I did not hate you for it’ and has a graceful style—thus, they tie.


[1] An allusive variation on: Topic unknown. ねぎ事をさのみききけむやしろこそはてはなげきのもりとなるらめnegigoto o / sanomi kikikemu / yashiro koso / hate wa nageki no / mori to narurame ‘Prayers / Alone I seem to hear at / This shrine, indeed, but / In the end, passion to grief’s / Grove will turn, no doubt…’ Sanuki (KKS XIX: 1055)

Eien narabō uta’awase 02

Round Two

Left

をちこちのちるはなごとにたぐひつつ春はこころのあくがるるかな

ochikochi no
chiru hana goto ni
taguitsutsu
haru wa kokoro no
akugaruru kana
Here and there
Every single scattered blossom
Enthralls me;
Spring within my heart
I hold so dear.

Lord Saburō
3

Right (Win)

やまざくらひる見るいろのあかなくによるさへ花のかげにむつれぬ

yamazakura
hiru miru iro no
akanaku ni
yoru sae hana no
kage ni mutsurenu
Mountain cherry,
Viewed in daytime has hues
That will not sate, so
Even at night the blossoms’
Glow entangles me.

Ushigimi
4

The Left’s poem has nothing remarkable about it. I say that, but it also has no particular faults. The Right’s phrase ‘’ feels curt, so I make the Left the winner.

The Left’s poem does not appear to have any particular faults—it describes the world as it is, so it seems to lack any novel phrasing.

The diction of the Right’s ‘Viewed in daytime has hues’ is extremely immature. With that being said, being entangled and lingering unsated has some conception to it.. I should say this is the winner.