shirotae no shimo yo ni okite mitsuredomo utsurou kiku wa magawazarikeri
White as mulberry cloth. Frost has fallen tonight I see, and yet The faded chrysanthemums I can clearly tell apart.
Lord Masakane 31
Right (T – Win)
八重菊の花の袂をあかずとや霜のうはぎを猶かさぬらん
yaegiku no hana no tamoto o akazu to ya shimo no uwagi o nao kasanuran
Of eightfold chrysanthemum Bloomed sleeves I cannot get my fill, but Is a frosty jacket Yet laid upon them?
Lord Tadafusa 32
Toshiyori states: the assemble company have stated about the first poem that in the absence of the moon or the stars it would difficult to distinguish chrysanthemums from the frost, and it certainly sounds like this would be the case. In the latter poem, we need to think of who it is that is feeling that they cannot get their fill of bloomed sleeves—the person wearing them should be included, or if the chrysanthemums are, perhaps, the subject, then ‘eightfold chrysanthemum’ is an error. Even so, the style of the poem seems elevated.
Mototoshi states: the poem stating ‘White as mulberry cloth. / Frost has fallen tonight’ is a bit hackneyed, and it then continues ‘The faded chrysanthemums / I can clearly tell apart’—I question whether one would really mistake faded chrysanthemums and frost. As for the Right’s poem, which says ‘Bloomed sleeves / I cannot get my fill’, well, this really is difficult to grasp. I spent quite a bit of time going back and forth agonizing over whether these were a person’s sleeves or those of the chrysanthemum! I feel that the diction in both poems is skillful, but there’s a lack of necessary information, so it’s impossible to decide a winner or loser here.
In the Twelfth Month of Kempō 5 [January 1218], I stayed at a monk’s cell at the Eifukuji on account of a directional taboo. When I returned home the following morning, I left behind a jacket
春まちてかすみの袖にかさねよと霜のころものおきてこそゆけ
haru machite kasumi no sode ni kasaneyo to shimo no koromo no okite koso yuke
Awaiting the springtime, Sleeves of haze, O, layer up! A frosty robe I leave you as I go!
sagoromo no tamoto wa sebashi kazukedomo shigure no ame wa kokoroshite fure
My night robe’s Sleeves are narrow: I cover myself, yet, O rain shower, Fall with care!
Lord Toshitaka 21
Right (Both Judges – Win)
はつ時雨音信しより水ぐきの岡の梢の色をしぞ思ふ
hatsushigure otozureshi yori mizuguki no oka no kozue no iro o shi zo omou
Since the first shower Came to call, Mizuguki Hill’s treetops’ Hues fill my thoughts…
Lord Tokimasa 22
Toshiyori states: the poem on night robes has ‘Fall with care!’ – is this expressing regret over getting wet? In addition, there’s ‘I cover myself, yet’: it would have been preferable to have this element first. The poem on the ‘first shower’ is not that remarkable, yet it does sound smooth. ‘Hues fill my thoughts’ feels conspicuously old-fashioned, and yet composing using ‘Mizuguki’ seem superior.
Mototoshi states: what on earth is the poet doing saying his ‘night robe’ is ‘narrow’? In the Code of the Shijō Major Counsellor this is indicted to be a bad thing—‘a shallow poem with weighty words’! The poem of the Right has ‘Since the first shower / Came to call’ and I feel that this is how a poem on showers ought to be. Saying ‘Hill’s treetops’ / Hues fill my thoughts’ is a bit trite, but still charming, so this is superior, isn’t it.
