Both Gentlemen state: the poems are based on ‘The Song of the Lute’ and have no faults to mention.
In judgement: both the Left and the Right are based on ‘The Song of the Lute’ and the Left, beginning with ‘late on in the year’ (toshi fukaki) is pleasant, but ‘that he cares not at their parting’ (wakare oshimanu) and what follows seems rather insufficient, in addition to simply seeming to recall Xunyang River and lack a conception of the poet’s own love. The Right has ‘in ignorance of our parting’ (wakare o shiranu), while ‘bring folk to ask me why’ (hito wa toikeri) also has a slight conception that the lady has not asked why either. Thus, the Right should win.
[One of] a number of poems composed on the occasion of an embassy to Silla, exchanged in sadness at parting, or noting emotions on voyage, or ancient poems which matched the location.
武庫の浦の入江の洲鳥羽ぐくもる君を離れて恋に死ぬべし
muko no ura no
irie no sudori
pa kugumoru
kimi wo panarete
kopi ni sinubesi
At the Bay of Muko
Along the inlets seabirds
Wrapped in wings –
Parted from your embrace, my Lord,
I shall die of love.
The Right state: the Left’s poem lacks any faults. The Left state: the Right’s poem is pedestrian.
In judgement: the configuration of the Left’s ‘Blow across the bay!’ (ura ni fuke) and its links with the preceding and subsequent lines, sounds charming. The Right’s poem is stylistically elegant, but the poem more closely resembles a poem on the topic of ‘Love and Pine Trees’. Thus, the Left wins.
The Right state they have no criticisms of the Left’s poem. The Left merely say that the Right’s poem is ‘old-fashioned’.
Shunzei’s judgement: The Left’s ‘dew drops’ (tsuyu no tama) falling so widely at Sayo-no-Nakayama one can surmise to be deeply expressive of the concept of travel. The Right’s Akashi Bay is a place strongly associated with the sad sound of the wind and the waves, but the final ‘makes even more fall’ (ochimasarikeru) is insufficient. Thus, the Left should win.