The end of spring
Left
あだなりと世にいふ花は散らずしてすぎゆく春ぞかひなかりける
| adanari to yo ni iu hana wa chirazushite sugiyuku haru zo kainakarikeru | Faithless, does The world call blossom, Not scattering with The passage of spring, so What’s the point to it! |
9
Right
花もみなおのが散り散りはかなきを春を見すててゆくぞかなしき
| hana mo mina ono ga chirijiri hakanaki o haru o misutete yuku zo kanashiki | The blossoms, every one, Scatter themselves So fleetingly, and Heedlessly abandon spring, so Sad its departure is. |
10
Love
Left
わが恋は春のなかばになりにけり花のにほひに影やみゆると
| wa ga koi wa haru no nakaba ni narinikeri hana no nioi ni kage ya miyuru to | My love In the heart of spring Has come about: In the glow of blossom Can I see her face… |
7
Right
春はなほくるしかりけりさくら花いろのつきつつ恋のまされば
| haru wa nao kurushikarikeri sakurabana iro no tsukitsutsu koi no masareba | Spring is ever Full of pain: The cherry blossoms’ Hues exhausted, as My love is at its strongest… |
8
Round Six
Left (Win)
やへざくらふるきみやこににほへどもふりずもはなのめづらしきかな
| yaezakura furuki miyako ni nioedomo furizu mo hana no mezurashiki kana | Eightfold cherry Around the ancient capital Does glow, yet Unfallen and anew, the blossoms Are remarkable! |
Cell of Fragrant Cloud
11
Right
みやこいでてかりそめにこし山ざとの花に心のからめられぬる
| miyako idete karisome ni koshi yamazato no hana ni kokoro no karamerarenuru | Departing the capital On occasion I make my way To a mountain retreat where The blossoms my heart Have entangled. |
Cell of Compassionate Light
12
The Left’s poem is a clear example of the overlayed diction fault. As for the Right’s poem, saying ‘have entangled’ is extremely overblown diction. Whatever sort of poem it might be, this expression would be unacceptable, wouldn’t it! Was this, perhaps, composed with an imperfect understanding of the Kawara Minister’s poem? That goes ‘For the scented / Breeze has yet to blow…’[1] Perhaps this is a misreading of a character in the poem’s text?[i] The Left has the fault of overlayed diction, and the Right…[ii]
The Left’s poem is extremely charming. I do have to say that having both ‘ancient’ (furuki) and ‘unfallen’ (furizu) is a fault and yet, this should not be criticized excessively. The poem of the Right’s ‘On occasion I make my way’, too, does not seem as if the poet is visiting the blossom, and so is lacking in sentiment. The concluding ‘have entangled’ is a piece of overblown diction, although it is not the case that it does not appear in prior poetry,[2] but I still feel that it grates on the ear a bit.
[1] When he participated in an archery display, during the reign of the Jōgan emperor [Seiwa]. けふ桜しづくにわが身いざぬれむかごめにさそふ風のこぬまに kyō sakura / shizuku ni wa ga mi / iza nuremu / kagome ni sasou / kaze no konu ma ni ‘Today let cherry blossom / Droplets my body / Drench! / For the scented / Breeze has yet to blow…’ The Kawara Minister of the Left (GSS II: 56)
[2] 美知乃倍乃 宇万良能宇礼尓 波保麻米乃 可良麻流伎美乎 波可礼加由加牟 michi no e no / umara no ure ni / haomame no / karamaru kimi o / hagareka yukamu ‘At the roadside / The briar rose tips / By bean vines / Are entangled, but from you / My love, I must depart…’ Hasetsukabe no Tori (MYS XX: 4352)
[i] Mototoshi is suggesting that Sōen has misread kagome かこめ in Minamoto no Tōru’s famous earlier poem as karame からめ, which would have been possible if reading a handwritten text.
[ii] There is a lacuna in Mototoshi’s judgement here, but it is clear from what he has said that he disapproved of both poems this round and so it would have been a tie.
Love at the dawn.
あかつきの鴫のはねがきしげけれどなど逢ふ事のま遠なるらん
| akatsuki no shigi no hane ga shigekeredo nado au koto no madōnaruran | At the dawn The snipes’ wingbeats Incessant are, so Why must our meetings Be intermittent?[1] |
504
[1] An allusive variation on: Topic unknown. 曉のしぎのはねがきももはがき君がこぬ夜は我ぞかずかく akatsuki no / shigi no hanegaki / momohagaki / kimi ga konu yo wa / ware zo kazu kaku ‘With the dawn / The snipe beat their wings / A hundred times or more / On nights without a visit from you / I count them all.’ Anonymous (KKS XV: 761)
Round Forty
Left (Win)
山もとの杜のしめ縄ながきよを秋のをしかの鳴きあかすらん
| yamamoto no mori no shimenawa nagaki yo o aki no oshika no nakiakasuran | At the mountains’ foot lies A sacred grove with garlands Long as the nights In autumn when the stag Bells in the dawn. |
Tomoshige
79
Right
なよ竹のよながき秋の山風に幾たび鹿のね覚しつらん
| nayotake no yo nagaki aki no yamakaze ni ikutabi shika no nezameshitsuran | Green bamboo with Knots as apart as the autumn night is long, While with the mountain wind How many times might the stag Have awakened?[1] |
Dharma Master Zenshin
80
The Left’s poem has ‘at the mountains’ foot lies a sacred grove with garlands long as the nights’ which sounds pleasant. The Right has ‘knots as apart as the autumn night is long, while with the mountain wind’—these, too, seem to have no clear winner or loser, yet still, the Left should be superior and should win.[2]
[1] An allusive variation on: Composed when the gentlemen in the Crown Prince’s service were presented with wine, on the occasion of Tadafusa being appointed Secretary of an embassy to China, during the reign of the Kanpyō emperor. なよ竹のよながきうへにはつしものおきゐて物を思ふころかな nayotake no / yo nagaki ue ni / hatsushimo no / oki’ite mono o / omou koro kana ‘Green bamboo with / Knots as far apart as the night is long / While the first frost settles on my active / Thoughts these days!’ Fujiwara no Tadafusa (KKS XVIII: 993)
Round Thirty-Nine
Left (Tie)
さをしかのふしどをあさみ吹く風に夜半に鳴く音ぞふかくなりゆく
| saoshika no fushido o asami fuku kaze ni yowa ni naku ne zo fukaku nariyuku | The stag’s Resting place disturbed by The gusting wind At midnight his belling cry Comes from deeper in the mountains. |
Chikanari
77
Right
さらでだにね覚かなしき秋風に夜しもなどか鹿の鳴くらん
| sarade dani nezame kanashiki akikaze ni yoru shimo nado ka shika no nakuran | Even were it not so, To waken is so sad With the cruel autumn wind; Why is it that above all at night The stag should cry so? |
Ie’kiyo
78
The Left poem’s ‘at midnight his belling cry comes from deeper’ does not sound especially elegant. The Right poem composes ‘why is it that above all at night the stag should cry so’, sounding like it is only at night that stags bell, but stags do this all the time in autumn. The Ancient and Modern also has the composition, ‘Mud-daubers buzzing / In the autumn bush clover; / Leaving with morning’.[1] The poems of Left and Right have no merits or faults between them—they should tie.
[1] This is a quotation from: Topic unknown. すがるなく秋のはぎはらあさたちて旅行く人をいつとかまたむ sugaru naku / aki no hagiwara / asa tachite / tabi yuku hito o / itsu to ka matan ‘Mud-daubers buzzing / In the autumn bush clover; / Leaving with morning, / Away on a journey: for him, / How long must I wait?’ Anonymous (KKS VIII: 366)
Round Thirty-Eight
Left
今更にふしもさだめぬ鹿の音よ木葉の数のつもるよごとに
| ima sara ni fushi mo sadamenu shika no ne yo ko no ha no kazu no tsumoru goto ni | At around this time, With his bedding undecided, The stag bells out! Just as the leaves’ from on the trees numbers Do mount up… |
Shō
75
Right (Win)
木葉ちる夜半の嵐の月影に心すみてや鹿も鳴くらん
| ko no ha chiru yowa no arashi no tsukikage ni kokoro sumite ya shika mo nakuran | Leaves scatter from the trees In the midnight storm In the moonlight From his wild and earthy thoughts Does the stag, too, cry out? |
Nagatsuna
76
The Left’s ‘just as the leaves from on the trees numbers do mount up’ at night and so forth, appears to be a novel style, yet the Right poem sounds more gorgeous, so it wins.
Round Thirty-Seven
Left (Tie)
むば玉のよやふけぬらんさをしかの声すみのぼるをのの草ぶし
| mubatama no yo ya fukenuran saoshika no koe suminoboru ono no kusabushi | Might lily-seed dark Night have fallen? The stag’s Cry clearly climbs From where he lies among the meadow grasses. |
Takasuke
73
Right
秋のよはつまどふ鹿の深山出でていまだ旅なるをのの草ぶし
| aki no yo wa tsumadou shika no miyama idete imada tabi naru ono no kusabushi | On an autumn night, Seeking his bride, the stag Emerges from the mountains’ depths, And now on his travels Lies among the meadow grasses. |
Shimotsuke
74
Left and Right’s ‘lies among the meadow grasses’ have no merits or faults between them. A pleasant tie.
Round Thirty-Six
Left
秋をおもふ涙やもろき夕月夜木葉がくれに鹿ぞ鳴くなる
| aki o omou namida ya moroki yūzukuyo ko no hagakure ni shika zo nakunaru | Filled with autumn feelings Do tears drip down? On a moonlit evening Hidden ‘mong the leafy trees, A stag does call. |
Dōchin
71
Right (Win)
を山田に風の吹きしくいなむしろよなよな鹿のふしどなりけり
| oyamada ni kaze no fukishiku inamushiro yonayona shika no fushidonarikeri | Across the mountain paddies The wind blows, spreading The rice into a coverlet, where Night after night, the stag Does lay his head. |
Dharma Master Nyokan
72
The Left’s poem does not appear to have any faults worth indicating, yet the Right’s poem is still more pleasant. It should win.
Round Five
Left (Win)
さくらやまはなのさかりに風ふけばこずゑをこして白波ぞたつ
| sakurayama hana no sakari ni kaze fukeba kozue o koshite shiranami zo tatsu | On the mount of Cherries So fine is the blossom that When the wind does blow, Passing o’er the treetops, Whitecaps arise! |
Controller’s Graduate
9
Right
この春ははなにこころのあくがれてこのもとにてもくらしつるかな
| kono haru wa hana ni kokoro no akugarete ko no moto nite mo kurashitsuru kana | This springtime By the blossoms my heart Is captivated, and Beneath the trees Does dwell! |
Kerin’in Graduate
10
Both Left and Right, in terms of diction, tone and style are superb with no faults at all. Thus, this is a tie.
The final section of the Left’s poem lacks fluency, yet it has conception. As for the Right’s poem, in order for one’s heart to be captivated by the blossom on every single treetop, one would need to be walking around. If one is resting peacefully beneath the trees, then one should say that one’s heart is captured. This section sounds erroneous, so the Left should win.
