kusamakura onaji tabine no sode ni mata yowa no shigure mo yado wa karikeri
Needing a grassy pillow When travelling just the same as I, dozing I find my sleeves drenched even more, For the midnight shower, too, Has found lodging.
Kojijū 87
Right
いほりさすやまぢはすぎぬはつしぐれふるさとまでやめぐりゆくらむ
iori sasu yamaji wa suginu hatsushigure furusato made ya meguriyukuramu
I put up my hut Upon the mountain path that you passed by, O, first shower! As far as my ancient home I wonder, will you make your way?
Lord Sanemori 88
The poem of the Left, saying ‘When travelling just the same as I dozing, / I find my sleeves drenched even more’ and then following this with ‘For the midnight shower, too, / Has found lodging’, has an extremely charming conception and configuration. In addition to the poem of the Right also having a charming conception, it begins with ‘O, first shower!’ and then continues, ‘As far as my ancient home’, which is an effective use of diction. Nevertheless, the conception of the Left’s poem is even better and it wins.
tabinesuru aretaru yado no shigure ni wa namida mo tomo ni moru ni zo arikeru
Sleeping on my travels In a ruined hut, The showers And my tears, both, Do leave me drenched!
Minamoto no Munenaga (formerly Michikiyo) 57
Right
ちぎらねどさよのねざめにおとづれてしぐれぞたびのともとなりける
chigiranedo sayo no nezame ni otozurete shigure zo tabi no tomo to narikeru
It made no vow, yet On awaking from a brief night’s sleep, I am visited by the sound Of showers—my journey’s Companion, have they become.
Fujiwara no Noritsune 58
The Left conception and configuration appear pleasant, but after saying that one is ‘sleeping on my travels’ to then have ‘a ruined hut’—this does not really sound like somewhere a person would take lodging on their journey. As for the Right, it seems like the only reason the poet has begun with ‘it made no vow, yet’ is because he wished to use ‘companion’, but these pieces of diction are too far apart. Still, it does seem to have some conception, so I make these a tie.
