The Right state: we wonder about the appropriateness of ‘swiftly’ (yagate). The Left state: should one mention a monk in a poem about Love?
In judgement: the configuration of the Left’s ‘In sorrow and despite; the tolling of the bell’ (itou mo kanashi kane no koe) sounds pleasant, so ‘swiftly’ does not seem unsuited. The Left wins.
Left and Right both state there are no faults to indicate.
In judgement: even though both the Left’s ‘pillowed arm this night’ (sayo no tamakura) and the Right’s ‘dusty bed’ (yodoko no chiri) are elegant, the combination of ‘my tears drop upon my pillowed arm this night’ (namida kakiyaru sayo no tamakura) is particularly moving. The Left should win.
The Right state: we wonder about the appropriateness of ‘faithfully sweeps’ (wasurezu harau). The Left state: while the Right’s poem is in keeping with the conception of the topic, it seem as if the reference to ‘evening’ serves little purpose.
In judgement: the Left’s ‘Spending this evening on thoughts of love’ (yūbe ya wakite nagamuran) is appropriate, but I find ‘The wind across the silver-grass’ (ogi no kaze) somewhat problematic. The initial section of the Right’s poem, too, is not bad, but saying ‘On an autumn evening unable to forget her’ (aki no yūbe ni hito wa wasureji) suggests that forgetting is the norm, and I wonder about that. The Left wins on account of its initial section.
The Right state: while ‘shadowed’ (kakikurasu) is a normal turn of phrase, we find ‘tears shadowing my sight’ (kurasu namida) to be unsatisfactory. The Left state: we wonder about the appropriateness of using shio no hiru ma alone for a play on words with hiru.
In judgement: The Left’s ‘That the hours had flown so fast I did forget’ (hima yuku koma mo wasurarete) gives the impression that the conception of the poem ought to be of waiting for dusk, but ‘First, the tears shadowing my sight I should suppress’ (kurasu namida o mazu osauran) seems to be something entirely different. As for the Right’s ‘Even when the beach is daytime dry my sleeves are soaked’ (shio no hiru ma mo sode wa nurekeri), I ask you, how can you think daytime isn’t a part of the phrase? The Right must win.
In judgement: simply saying, ‘Sleeping solo my sleeves remain damp in the morning’ (hitorine no sode no nagori no asajimeri) seems to lack the conception of love. I wonder who might have written the ‘recent poem’, ‘If he would be wet with waves should surely wait for evening?’ mentioned by the Right? How, indeed, can we avoid poems which are not in the anthologies? In any case, the poem here is ‘May to dampen them again, ‘til evening I would wish to wait’ and the initial line is different. This level of resemblance between poems is not uncommon. The Right’s poem is pleasant. It should win.
The Right state: the Left’s initial line is unsatisfactory. The Left state: the Right’s central line is also unsatisfactory.
In judgement: it is not just that the Right’s central line is unsatisfactory. A channel buoy, planted in a river and rotting away is quite a commonplace occurrence. For something to be ‘afloat’ (yurasaru), you would need to refer to flotsam, either of wood or bamboo. The Left should win.