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Sumiyoshi-sha uta'awase kaō ni-nen

Sumiyoshi-sha uta’awase kaō ni-nen 49

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Round Twenty-Four

Left (Win)

かぜのおとにわきぞかねましまつがねのまくらにもらぬしぐれなりせば

kaze no oto ni
waki zo kanemashi
matsu ga ne no
makura ni moranu
shigure nariseba		The gusts of wind
I cannot tell apart from
The rustle of the pines roots
For my pillow should no drips
From the shower fall…

Lord Sanefusa
97

Right

たびのいほはあらしにたぐふよこしぐれしばのかこひにとまらざりけり

tabi no io wa
arashi ni taguu
yoko shigure
shiba no kakoi ni
tomarazarikeri		My traveller’s hut
Is lashed by the storm wind’s
Sideways showers—
The brushwood walls
Halt it not at all.

Lord Yorimasa
98

The conception and configuration of the poem of the Left, starting ‘I cannot tell apart from / The rustle of the pines’ and continuing ‘For my pillow should no drips / From the shower fall’ is, once again, truly exceptional! As for the poem of the Right, while it appears to have a charming style and use of diction, even if it is the case that ‘sideways showers’ are a genuine phenomenon, it fails to sound particularly elegant, doesn’t it. In addition, the latter section of the poem, ‘the brushwood walls’, feels slightly lacking in conception. Thus, I make the Left the winner.

Sumiyoshi-sha uta'awase kaō ni-nen

Sumiyoshi-sha uta’awase kaō ni-nen 41

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Round Sixteen

Left

くさまくらたびねさびしきやまかげにこのはさそひてしぐれふるなり

kusamakura
tabine sabishiki
yamakage ni
ko no ha sasoite
shigure furunari		On a grassy pillow,
Dozing on my travels, lonely
In a mountain’s shade,
The rustling of the leaves invites
A shower to fall.

Hyōenosuke
81

Right (Win)

すみのえのまつがはひねをまくらにてなみうちそふるしぐれをぞきく

suminoe no
matsu ga haine o
makura nite
nami uchisouru
shigure o zo kiku		At Suminoe
Upon the crawling pine roots
Have I made my pillow, while
Laced with the breaking waves
I listen to the showers.

Lord Naganori
82

The Left’s configuration of ‘the rustling of the leaves invites’, while dozing on one’s journey in the shadow of a mountain, sounds pleasant. While I do wonder about the Right’s diction—concluding with ‘listen to the showers’—in addition to ‘laced with the breaking waves’ sounding pleasant, it also adds the conception of waves beneath ‘the pines of Suminoe’, doesn’t it. I make the Right the winner.

Sumiyoshi-sha uta'awase kaō ni-nen

Sumiyoshi-sha uta’awase kaō ni-nen 40

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Round Fifteen

Left

みちしばのつゆわけきつるたびごろもしぐるるよははほしぞわづらふ

michishiba no
tsuyu wakekitsuru
tabigoromo
shigururu yowa wa
hoshi zo wazurau		Through the roadside grasses
Dew have I come forging—
My traveller’s garb
In a midnight shower
I’d dry—what trouble ‘tis, indeed!

Hyōenokami
79

Right (Win)

しぐれするおとにいくたびねざめしてくさのまくらにあかしかぬらむ

shiguresuru
oto ni iku tabi
nezameshite
kusa no makura ni
akashikanuramu		The showers’
Sound, so many times
Has wakened me, so
On my grassy pillow
It seems the dawn can never come!

Michichika
80

The Left’s ‘roadside grasses’ have nothing remarkable about them and, what’s more, fail to link to anything. The Right has a charming conception of feeling the dawn will never come to a grassy pillow, but as in the poem ‘On a winter’s night / How many times / Have I awakened, / Deep in thought, my dwelling’s / Door-crack letting in the light?’, it is more charming to refer to the difficulty of greeting the dawn at the end of a winter’s night. This poem has the speaker being woken countless times by the sound of a shower and seems to convey the feeling of dozing on a dew-drenched pillow, doesn’t it. With that being said, the Right does appear to have some genuine emotion behind it. I would say it wins.

Sumiyoshi-sha uta'awase kaō ni-nen

Sumiyoshi-sha uta’awase kaō ni-nen 31

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Round Six

Left (Tie)

たびねするこやのしのやのひまをなみもらぬしぐれにぬるるそでかな

tabinesuru
koya no shinoya no
hima o nami
moranu shigure ni
nururu sode kana		Dozing on my journey
In Koya, beneath dwarf-bamboo thatch,
No gaps has it, so
No drips fall from the showers, yet
Still my sleeves are soaked!

Kunisuke
61

Right

しぐれつつものぞかなしきわすれぐさまくらにむすぶきしのたびねは

shiguretsutsu
mono zo kanashiki
wasuregusa
makura ni musubu
kishi no tabine wa		In the ever-falling showers,
I am sad, indeed, so
Of forgetful day-lily
My pillow will I weave,
Napping on my travels by the coast…

Horikawa
62

The Left’s poem is not bad in configuration and diction, but I would have preferred it had it said ‘no drips fall from the showers, too, yet’. As for the Right, saying that one is napping on one’s travels on the coast at Sumiyoshi, having woven a pillow from forgetful day-lilies does, indeed, sound evocative, but it would have been more so had there been a reason for the reference to day-lilies earlier in the poem. These tie, don’t they.

Sumiyoshi-sha uta'awase kaō ni-nen

Sumiyoshi-sha uta’awase kaō ni-nen 30

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Round Five

Left (Win)

はれくもりしぐれするよはまつがねのまくらをえこそさだめざりけれ

harekumori
shiguresuru yo wa
matsu ga ne no
makura o e koso
sadamezarikere		Clear then clouded
With showers is the night,
When pine roots do
My pillow make
I cannot decide at all…[1]

Asamune
59

Right

かみなづきしぐるるよはのたびやかたもるとはなしにぬるるそでかな

kaminazuki
shigururu yowa no
tabiyakata
moru to wa nashi ni
nururu sode kana		In the Godless Month
Showers at midnight
At traveller’s lodge
Should drench me not, yet
Soaked are my sleeves! [2]

Kanetsuna
60

The style of both Left and Right sounds elegant. However, with regard to the Right’s poems, while I am well accustomed to hearing that one would not be drenched at a lodge, the combination of the diction of ‘showers’ and ‘soaked’ would have been better avoided. The conclusion of the Left, with ‘pine roots’ and sequencing sounds pleasant. Thus, the Left wins.

[1] Alluding to: Topic unknown. よひよひに枕さだめむ方もなしいかにねし夜か夢に見えけむ yoi yoi ni / makura sadamemu / kata mo nashi / ika ni neshi yo ka / yume ni miekemu ‘Night after night / To decide upon my pillow / I cannot do, at all / How can I sleep the night away / And see you in my dreams?’ Anonymous (KKS XI:  516)

[2] Alluding to: Composed in place of an islander from  Ulleungdo. 故郷有母秋風涙　旅館無人暮雨魂 kokyō ni haha ari aki no kaze no namida / ryokan ni hito nashi bō no Tamashii ‘My mother lies in my ancient home; my tears overflow with the autumn wind, as / Alone in my traveller’s lodgings, the rain at dusk draws out my soul.’ Tamenori (Shinsen rōeishū 606)

Daikōtaigōgū no suke taira no tsunemori-ason ke uta'awase

Daikōtaigōgū no suke taira no tsunemori-ason ke uta’awase 21

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Round Nine

Left (Tie)

秋はぎを草の枕にむすびてや妻恋ひかねて鹿のふすらん

akihagi o
kusa no makura ni
musubite ya
tsuma koikanete
shika no fusuran		The autumn bush clover
For a grassy pillow
Has he woven—is that why
Unable to love his mate
The stag seems to lie?

Koreyuki
41

Right

妻こふる秋にしなればさをしかの床の山とてうちもふされじ

tsuma kouru
aki ni shi nareba
saoshika no
toko no yama tote
uchi mo fusareji		He yearns for his mate
In autumn, above all, so
In the stag’s
Bed among the mountains
He cannot lay him down, it seems.

Arifusa
42

The Left isn’t bad, but isn’t there Controller Kore’ie’s poem:

秋萩を草の枕にむすぶ夜はちかくもしかのこゑをきくかな

akihagi o
kusa no makura ni
musubu yo wa
chikaku mo shika no
koe o kiku kana		The autumn bush clover
For a grassy pillow
I weave tonight—
Close by, truly, a stag’s
Bell I hear! [1]

While there is this earlier example, neither core nor the conceptions of these poems are the same, and as the Right’s poem is not all that good, after careful consideration I make this a tie.

[1] On hearing a stag at his lodgings. KYS (3) III: 224

Daikōtaigōgū daijin kiyosuke-ason ke uta’awase

Daikōtaigōgū daijin kiyosuke-ason ke uta’awase 19

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Round Nineteen

Left (Win)

うちはらふ枕のちりもかくれなくあれたる宿をてらす月影

uchiharau
makura no chiri mo
kakurenaku
aretaru yado o
terasu tsukikage		Needing to be swept away,
The dust upon my pillow
Cannot be concealed
In my dilapidated dwelling, when
The moonlight shines within…

Taifu
37

Right

秋の夜の月みる袖におく露やひるにかはれるしるしなるらん

aki no yo no
tsuki miru sode ni
oku tsuyu ya
hiru ni kawareru
shirushi naruran		On an autumn night
Upon my sleeves, when gazing at the moon,
Fall dewdrops—
That all is changed from daytime
Might they be a sign?

Yorisuke
38

In both the moon is bright, and I feel they reflect the essential meaning of the topic, but as its diction is currently slightly more familiar, I make the Left the winner. It would be possible to call this a tie, too, though.