Autumn Moon
Left (Tie)
しらつゆのそこにひかりはやどれどもとまらでぞゆくあきのつきかげ
| shiratsuyu no soko ni hikari wa yadoredomo tomarade zo yuku aki no tsukikage | At silver dewdrops Base its light Does lodge, yet Never stays, but departs— The autumn moonlight. |
Fujiwara no Kakena
9
Right
あきのつきこのしたなべてあかければこのもかのものかげだにもせず
| aki no tsuki ko no shita nabete akakereba kono mo kano mo no kage dani mo sezu | When the autumn moon Aligns beneath the trees So bright, Each and every one Casts no shadow at all. |
Miyaji no Sukeon
10
Left (Tie)
すみよしのきしうつなみにてる月はこかげもあかしまつのむらだち
| sumiyoshi no kishi utsu nami ni teru tsuki wa kokage mo akashi matsu no muradachi | At Sumiyoshi Upon the waves, striking the shore, Shines the moon— The shadows of the trees are bright Among the crowding pines. |
Chūnagon, in service to the Former Ise Virgin[1]
45
Right
としふりてかみさびにけるすみのえのきしのたまもをみがく月かげ
| toshi furite kamisabinikeru suminoe no kishi no tamamo o migaku tsukikage | Ancient in years is The dread Suminoe Shore, where gemweed Is polished by the moonlight. |
Novice Sokaku[2]
46
The Left’s poem has a truly charming conception, with ‘Upon the waves, striking the shore, / Shines the moon’ reflecting and making the pines’ shadows shine. However, what are we to make of the use of ‘bright’ here? My late master once stated that he had too often heard such diction being used. The poem of the right appears to have pleasant configuration and diction, but, while it is only natural to say that the Suminoe’s shore is dread, I wonder about the appropriateness of going so far as to say that gemweed is? It’s going a bit far, I think, to bring in ‘gemweed’ simply to link it to ‘polish’. Nevertheless, the configuration of the poem appears pleasant, so I call this a tie.
[1] Zen-saigū no Chūnagon前斎宮中納言
[2] Shami Sokaku沙弥素覚
Round Twenty-One
Left
ひさかたの月もひかりをやはらげてしめのうちにはすむにやあるらむ
| hisakata no tsuki mo hikari o yawaragete shime no uchi ni wa sumu ni ya aruramu | The eternal Moon, too, his light Has softened, that Within the sacred grounds Should be more clear, perhaps? |
Lord Fujiwara no Asamune
Supernumerary Governor of Suruga
Junior Fifth Rank, Lower Grade[1]
41
Right (Win)
月かげをゆきかとみればすみよしのあけのたまがきいろもかくれず
| tsukikage o yuki ka to mireba sumiyoshi no ake no tamagaki iro mo kakurezu | When, upon the moonlight, I looked and wondered if ‘twas snow, At Sumiyoshi The vermillion jewelled fences’ Hues were not concealed at all. |
Lord Fujiwara no Kanetsuna
Junior Fifth Rank, Lower Grade
Without Office[2]
42
The Left’s ‘Moon, too, his light / Has softened’ and so forth seems a charming configuration, but it is unclear from this whether the moon is shining more gently within the sacred grounds. Although I do wonder about the sound of beginning with ‘I looked and wondered if ‘twas snow’ and abruptly ending with ‘Hues were not concealed at all’, the conception seems clearly expressed in the diction and so I make the Right the winner.
[1] Suruga gonkami jūgoige Fujiwara ason Asamune駿河権守従五位下藤原朝臣朝宗
[2] San’i jūgoige Fujiwara ason Kanetsuna 散位従五位下藤原朝臣懐綱
Round Nine
Left
すみのえのこほりとみゆる月かげにとけやしぬらむかみのこころも
| suminoe no kōri to miyuru tsukikage ni toke ya shinuramu kami no kokoro mo | At Suminoe As ice appears The moonlight, but Is not, perhaps, melted Even the deity’s heart? |
Lord Fujiwara no Kinshige
Senior Fourth Rank, Lower Grade
Without Office[1]
17
Right (Win)
すみよしのおまへのきしのまつのはもかずかくれなくみゆる月かげ
| sumiyoshi no omae no kishi no matsu no ha mo kazu kakurenaku miyuru tsukikage | At Sumiyoshi On the coast before the shrine Even the pine needles Cannot hide their numbers, Appearing in the moonlight. |
Venerable Dharma Eye Enjitsu[2]
18
While in the Left ‘ice appears’ and ‘is not, perhaps, melted’ seem to have some kind of linkage, if we consider this as a Cathay-style poem saying ‘A chill night’s moon / Ice atop the swell’, then I would have preferred it to say ‘is, perhaps, bound’. An alternative version of this would, of course, be ‘A spring morn’s breeze / Ice on the eastern shore’ which could lead to ‘is not, perhaps, melted’, I think. The Right has ‘On the coast before the shrine / Even the pine needles’ and through this type of linkage expresses the brightness of the moon. While this type of smug-sounding expression also appeared in the round before last, the moon here does seem bright and so I can say that the Right wins.
[1] San’i shōyon’ige Fujiwara ason Kinshige 散位正四位下藤原朝臣公重
[2] Hōgen kashōi Enjitsu 法眼和尚位円実
