ima sara ni fushi mo sadamenu shika no ne yo ko no ha no kazu no tsumoru goto ni
At around this time, With his bedding undecided, The stag bells out! Just as the leaves’ from on the trees numbers Do mount up…
Shō 75
Right (Win)
木葉ちる夜半の嵐の月影に心すみてや鹿も鳴くらん
ko no ha chiru yowa no arashi no tsukikage ni kokoro sumite ya shika mo nakuran
Leaves scatter from the trees In the midnight storm In the moonlight From his wild and earthy thoughts Does the stag, too, cry out?
Nagatsuna 76
The Left’s ‘just as the leaves from on the trees numbers do mount up’ at night and so forth, appears to be a novel style, yet the Right poem sounds more gorgeous, so it wins.
mikumano no ura no hamayū iwazu tomo omou kokoro no kazu o shiranan
At fair Kumano, Lilies on the beach Say nothing, yet The yearnings in my heart for you In number I would have you know![1]
466
[1] An allusive variation on: [One of] Four poems by Hitomaro, Lord Kakinomoto. み熊野の浦の濱木綿百重なす心は思へど直に逢はぬかも mikumano no / ura no hamayū / momoe nasu / kokoro wa omoedo / tada ni awanu kamo ‘At fair Kumano / Lilies on the beach / A hundred deep / My heart’s yearning, but / Never will we meet.’ (MYS IV: 496)
masodemote asa oku shimo o harau kana aezu utsurou kiku no oshisa ni
From both my sleeves The morning frost fall I will brush away! Reluctant to face the fading Chrysanthemum’s burden of regret…
Lord Akikuni 27
Right (Both Judges – Win)
露結ぶしも夜の数をかさぬればたへでや菊のうつろひぬらん
tsuyu musubu shimo yo no kazu o kasanureba taede ya kiku no utsuroinuran
Dewdrops bound with Frost—when such nights in number Mount up, Might it be unbearable that the chrysanthemums Do fade away?
Lord Morotoshi 28
Toshiyori states: the first poem is extremely charming. Nevertheless, I must question the use of ‘reluctant to face the fading’ as I feel this is something I have not heard before. I can grasp the sense of diction such as ‘unable to do anything about’ or ‘without taking on autumn hues’, but did the poet mean to use the diction ‘unbearable’, perhaps? Even though this is somewhat archaic phrasing, it is used in composition. This poem’s expressions, though, I feel are somewhat unfamiliar. The conception and diction of the second poem are both extremely charming. However, this poem, too, is vague. What is going on with the initial ‘dewdrops bound’? Does it mean that the dewdrops get turned into frost? If so, then, from what is known of the calendar, this is something which only occurs on a single night, and from the following night there is only frost. It sounds as if the conception of this poem, though, is that night after night dew turns to frost, and this would be a fault. Despite this vagueness, however, its tone is elegant, so it seems superior.
Mototoshi states: the poem of the Left has a poetic configuration, but I strongly feel that it would have been preferable not to use the diction ‘both my sleeves’. It does seem as if this was used in the ancient Collection of a Myriad Leaves, but even given that was the case, in the preface to the Ancient and Modern, I recall it saying, ‘On examining the poems of ancient times, we find they use many archaic expressions. These were there not just to please the ear, but simply for moral instruction’. It appears that there are no instances of this piece of diction being used in poetry matches from the period of the Ancient and Modern, Later Selection and Gleanings, and these were all conducted for entertainment. Even in a poetry match conducted in Engi 12 [912], when the term ‘sleeve’ was used, I get the feeling that it was such a source of amusement that the poem was not recited. While the quality of the Right’s poem is not superb, the tone of ‘Dewdrops bound with / Frost—when such nights in number’ is not bad, so I feel the dew can still remain bound!
kazu naranu mi koso omoeba ureshikere uki ni tsukete zo yo o mo itowamu
Not even numbered among folk Am I, thinking that Fills me with joy, but All the cruelties of this world Make me wish to leave it.
Asamune 141
Right
ながらへばかくてのみやははてむとてすぎにしかたはなぐさみもしき
nagaraeba kakute nomi ya wa hatemu tote suginishi kata wa nagusami mo shiki
Should I live on, then Being simply as I am Would I reach my end, I wonder? In days gone by I had some hope of consolation…
Kanetsuna 142
The sequencing of the Left’s ‘Am I, thinking that’ appears elegant. The Right, starting with ‘Would I reach my end, I wonder?’ sounds overly forceful, yet the conception of saying ‘in days gone by’ is still pleasant. Thus, once again, I make this a tie.
While in the Left ‘ice appears’ and ‘is not, perhaps, melted’ seem to have some kind of linkage, if we consider this as a Cathay-style poem saying ‘A chill night’s moon / Ice atop the swell’, then I would have preferred it to say ‘is, perhaps, bound’. An alternative version of this would, of course, be ‘A spring morn’s breeze / Ice on the eastern shore’ which could lead to ‘is not, perhaps, melted’, I think. The Right has ‘On the coast before the shrine / Even the pine needles’ and through this type of linkage expresses the brightness of the moon. While this type of smug-sounding expression also appeared in the round before last, the moon here does seem bright and so I can say that the Right wins.
